German fiction -- Translations into English; Palestine -- History -- Fiction
With two long strides he stood directly before her as she gazed with a
troubled look into the fire, her face even paler than his own. His voice
had lost its metallic harmony, and sounded shrill and sharp as he
exclaimed:
"I had the courage to woo a maiden who supposed herself to be nearer to
God than other women, and now that she has become my wife she makes me
atone for such presumption."
"Atone?" escaped Miriam's livid lips, and a defiant glance blazed at him
from her black eyes. But, undismayed, he continued, grasping her hand
with so firm a pressure that it hurt her:
"Aye, you make me atone for it!--Shame on me, if I permit this
disgraceful hour to be followed by similar ones."
Miriam strove to wrest her hand from his clasp, but he would not release
it, and went on:
"I sought you, that you might be the pride of my house. I expected to
sow honor, and I reap disgrace; for what could be more humiliating to
a man than to have a wife who rules him, who presumes to wound with
hostile words the heart of the friend who is protected by the laws of
hospitality? A woman of different mould, a simple-hearted, upright wife,
who looked at her husband's past life, instead of planning how to
increase his greatness, that she might share it with him, need not have
had me shout into her ears that Hur has garnered honors and dignities
enough, during his long existence, to be able to spare a portion of them
without any loss of esteem. It is not the man who holds the chief
command, but the one who shows the most self-sacrificing love for the
people that is greatest in the eyes of Jehovah. You desire a high place,
you seek to be honored by the multitude as one who is summoned by the
Lord. I shall not forbid it, so long as you do not forget what the duty
of a wife commands. You owe me love also; for you vowed to give it on
your marriage day; but the human heart can bestow only what it possesses,
and Hosea is right when he says that love, which is warm itself and warms
others, is a feeling alien to your cold nature."
With these words he turned his back upon her and went to the dark portion
of the tent, while Miriam remained standing by the fire, whose flickering
light illumined her beautiful, pallid face.
With clenched teeth and hands pressed on her heaving bosom, she stood
gazing at the spot where he had disappeared.
Her grey-haired husband had confronted her in the full consciousness of
his dignity, a noble man worthy of reverence, a true, princely chief of
his tribe, and infinitely her superior. His every word had pierced her
bosom like the thrust of a lance. The power of truth had given each its
full emphasis and held up to Miriam a mirror that showed her an image
from which she shrank.
Now she longed to rush after him and beg him to restore the love with
which he had hitherto surrounded her--and which the lonely woman had
gratefully felt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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