Josiah Allen on the Woman QuestionHolley, Marietta
General
Josiah Allen on the Woman Question
Holley, Marietta
Feminism -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Women's rights -- Fiction
"Well," sez she, "you better forebode to yourself another time. I wuz
jest rensin' out my last biler of clothes, and I've got to whitewash
the summer kitchen, and paint the buttery floor, and scrape the paper
off overhead in the settin' room, so's to paper it to-morrow. And I
guess that whitewashin' and scrapin' off that paper with a case knife
overhead is as hefty a job as liftin' up a paper ballot, to say nothin'
of the biler full of clothes I'm liftin' on and off, and sweatin' over
the wash-tub. And I'll thank you to keep your forebodin's and warnin's
to yourself in the future, and not call me offen my work." And she went
out and shet the door hard.
And that's all the thanks I got for my tender feelin's and overpowerin'
desire to keep hardships from her. But I knowed she wuz expectin'
company, and fixin' up and preparin' for 'em, so I overlooked it in
her, and I presoom to say the thought of that company and the extra
good meals we wuz sure to have, had a amelioratin' effect on me. But
her hashness won't stop me nor other noble tender hearted males from
worryin' about the turrible hardship and labor of votin', and tryin'
our best to keep the gentle delicate females we are protectin' and
guardin' from plungin' into it.
But I'm so sensitive and my feelin's so easy hurt, that it must have
been a minute and a half before my mind settled down agin and I could
hold my steeled pen in as firm a grip as heretofore, and resoom my
powerful argumentative strain.
Another reason I've argued why wimmen should not vote wuz she would act
so awkward in politics she would put in so many petickulars, wimmen's
minds hain't stabled, they hain't got horse sense. And they don't nor
won't appreciate that good old doctrine that has always been such a
comfort to me and Uncle Sime and other statesmen, that what has been
always will be, and to let well enough alone. No they have got to be
tinkerin' and tryin' to make things better, and interfere, and talk and
tell petickulars. Now if a merchant sells 'em cloth for their fambly,
instead of buyin' and payin' for it and keepin' their mouth shet as a
man would, they'll feel of it and pull it to and fro, fro and to. And
if it hain't what he claims it is, if it is shoddy and poor, they'll
talk and talk till he has to hustle round and buy good stuff, or they
won't trade with him, takin' off his profits jest by petickulars.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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