Josiah Allen on the Woman QuestionHolley, Marietta
General
Josiah Allen on the Woman Question
Holley, Marietta
Feminism -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Women's rights -- Fiction
As I spoke the fateful words it seemed as if old Nater herself wuz
listenin' and peakin' in through the kitchen door to see what would
happen. What would be the effect on Samantha? I dreaded, yet waited for
the result. Would she overwhelm me with reproaches and entreaties to
stop and not ruin her sect? Would she be overcome and swoon away? And
the appaulin' thought come to me onbid, if she did who would finish up
the dinner? As I asked the question she paused with the choppin' knife
in her hand and sez:
"When I wuz a girl we had a Debatin' School, and there wuz one feller
that we always tried to git on the side opposite to us, his talk and
arguments wuz such a help to us. I hain't no objections to your writin'
the book, Josiah." And then she resoomed her work with her linement cam
as ever. I felt relieved, but couldn't see what sot her off to tellin'
that old story at this juncter, and can't to this day, but set it down
to female's inability to grasp holt of important questions, and answer
'em in a straightforward way as males do.
I knowed when I begun my great work of stompin' out Woman's Suffrage
that I must proceed careful; wimmen had clogged up the road to Truth
and Reason so with their fool arguments, lectures, parades, etc., I
must plough through 'em and make my way clear every step I took so no
clackin' arguin' female could rise up and dispute 'em.
I laid out to chase females back to the very beginin', and there in the
dim light of the dawnin' day of Time to grasp holt of the unanswerable
argument that proves to every reasonable mind wimmen's inferiority and
man's greatness. And then chase 'em back agin through the centuries up
to the present time, and there corner 'em and break down their flimsy
arguments of equality, and crush 'em forever. And make an end to this
male disturbin', world opsettin' bizness of Wimmen's Rights. And in
divin' back into history as fur as I've doven I want to give suitable
credit to my chumb, Uncle Simon Bentley. Bein' a bacheldor without no
hamperin' female ties drawin' on him and holdin' him back, he's had
more time than I have to devote to arjous study and research on the
subject, and has been a help to me. Not but what I could have equalled
him or gone ahead on him if I'd been foot-loose. But Samantha and the
barn stock wuz on my back, and fambly cares kep' me down. But after he
mentioned to me certain things he had studied out, I told him I had
thought of them very things more than one hundred times, but hadn't had
time to write 'em down.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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