Josiah Allen on the Woman QuestionHolley, Marietta
General
Josiah Allen on the Woman Question
Holley, Marietta
Feminism -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Women's rights -- Fiction
"I had gone a little further north than I had ever gone before, and I
come out to a big clearin' that I had never seen. I should say it wuz
half a degree north of where we're settin' now, or it might have been
half a pint further, a man can't be too exact and particular in telling
such things, for some folks if they wanted to pick flaws and find
fault might doubt his statement. But I didn't have my pocket compass
with me and I wuz so surprised at what I see there that I don't know
that I should thought to use it if I had had it.
"I must say that as many strange things as I've seen and heard I never
wuz so surprised as I wuz at what I see there.
"Right there in that big clearin' there wuz a perfect army of tinkers
makin' a immense brass kettle. There wuz jest one hundred of 'em, for I
counted 'em over twice so's to be sure of gittin' the exact number. I
am always so perfectly reliable in my statements, and am bound to git
the smallest petickulars jest right. I spoze I got the habit partly
from weighin' out my medicines so exact.
"And them tinkers wuz hammerin' away for all they wuz worth on that
kettle, and you may judge of the size of it when I tell you them
workmen wuz so fur apart they couldn't hear each other a hammerin'."
Even Condelick Henzy wuz took back and browbeat and sez mekanically,
"What do you spoze they wuz goin' to do with the kettle?"
"Well," sez Dr. Meezik, "they didn't tell me, for I didn't want to act
forward and ask, but I always spozed they wuz goin' to use it to bile
your cabbage in."
Just at this epock of time Samantha gathered up her insane piece work
and left the room. She didn't say nothin', but I knowed by the looks of
her linement jest as well as I know now, that she'd throw that kettle
and that cabbage in my face some time the most inconvenient for me, and
you can see plain she's done it and now I hope she's satisfied.
As I said I went out to the barn and kinder fussed round cleanin' up
some, and I never see Samantha agin till dinner time. I wuzn't afraid
to go in and meet her and have her resoom her argument agin. No, I
skorn the importation. I belong to a fearless sect, and am almost
unacquainted with the word fear, though I know there is such a word in
the Dictionary.
No, I had considerable putterin' round to do in the barn, and hen
house, and so I stayed out there till I hearn the welcome sound of the
dinner bell and smelt even from the barn door the agreable odors risin'
from a first class dinner.
The smell and taste of the tender roast lamb and lushious vegetables
softened my feelin's considerable, or would have if it hadn't been for
the look on Samantha's face. It wuzn't a cross look nor a mean one,
would that it wuz, for I could handle them looks better.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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