Josiah Allen's Wife as a P. A. and P. I.: Samantha at the Centennial.: Designed As a Bright and Shining Light, to Pierce the Fogs of Error and Injustice That Surround Society and Josiah, and to Bring More Clearly to View the Path That Leads Straight on to Virtue and Happiness.Holley, Marietta
General
Josiah Allen's Wife as a P. A. and P. I.: Samantha at the Centennial.: Designed As a Bright and Shining Light, to Pierce the Fogs of Error and Injustice That Surround Society and Josiah, and to Bring More Clearly to View the Path That Leads Straight on to Virtue and Happiness.
Holley, Marietta
Centennial Exhibition (1876 : Philadelphia, Pa.) -- Fiction; Conduct of life -- Fiction; Debates and debating -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Women's rights -- Fiction
He had an old-fashioned dress coat on, with long skirts, that come most
to the floor, and as he said this, he lifted ’em up with a almost
commandin’ air, as if he was a liftin’ ’em out of black mud. He lifted
’em right up, and they stood out in front of his arms, some like wings;
and, as he stood lookin’ round the audience, in this commandin’ and
imposin’ position, he repeated the words in a more lofty and majestic
tone:
[Illustration: A THRILLIN’ MOMENT.]
“I clear _my_ coat-skirts of the hull matter. You _see_ me clear ’em.
None of the bloody ruin can be laid onto _my_ coat-skirts.”
It was a thrillin’ moment. It had a terribly depressin’ effect on a
great many lovers of justice and wimmen’s votin’, who was present. They
see the dangers hedgin’ in the enterprise, as they never see ’em before.
They see the power of the foe they was fightin’ ag’inst, and trembled
and quailed before him. But though I realized well what was a goin’ on
before me, though I knew what a deadly blow he was a givin’ to the
cause, I held firm, and kep’ a cool mean, and never thought for half a
moment of givin’ up my shield. And then I knew it wasn’t so much his
words—although they was witherin’—as his lofty majesty of bearin’, that
influenced the almost breathless audience. He stood in that commandin’
posture, I have described, for I should judge, nearly one moment and a
half, and then he repeated the words:
“For I say unto you,”—and here he dropped his coat-skirts suddenly, and
struck himself in the breast a sudden and violent blow with his
thumb,—the fingers all standin’ out straight, like the bones of a
fan—“for I say unto you; and if these are the last words you shall ever
hear from my humble but perfectly honorable mouth,—remember, Jonesville
and the world, that I died a sayin’, beware of the female pole.”
I never in my hull life heerd a pole sound so faint and sickly as that
pole did. It dwindled away almost to nothin’, and he kinder shet his
eyes up and sallied away, as if he was a goin to die off himself. It
skairt some of the wimmen most to death, it was so impressive; but I
knew it was all the effect of high trainin’; I knew he would come to in
a minute, and he did. Pretty soon he kinder repeated the words, in a
sickly tone:
“Remember, I died a sayin’: beware of the female pole. Beware! beware!!”
And oh, how skairt them wimmen was again; for he straightened right up
and yelled out them two bewares, like a couple of claps of thunder; and
his eyes kep’ a growin’ bigger and bigger, and his voice grew louder and
louder, till it seemed as if it would raise the very ruff—though it had
jest been new shingled, (cost the deestrick 20 dollars,)—and he looked
round the audience as wise as any owl I ever laid eyes on, and struck
himself a very fearful blow with his thumb, right on his stomach, and
says he:
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