"That's just what I complain of. You SHOULD have meant! What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning--and a child's more important than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands." "I don't deny things with my HANDS," Alice objected. "Nobody said you did," said the Red Queen. "I said you couldn't if you tried." "She's in that state of mind," said the White Queen, "that she wants to deny SOMETHING--only she doesn't know what to deny." "A nasty, vicious temper," the Red Queen remarked; and there was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two. The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen, "I invite you to Alice's dinner party this afternoon." The White Queen smiled feebly, and said, "And I invite YOU." "I didn't know I was to have a party at all," said Alice; "but if there is to be one, I think _I_ ought to invite the guests." "We gave you the opportunity of doing it," the Red Queen remarked: "but I dare say you've not had many lessons in manners yet?" "Manners are not taught in lessons," said Alice. "Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort." "Can you do addition?" the White Queen asked. "What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?" "I don't know," said Alice. "I lost count." "She can't do Addition," the Red Queen interrupted. "Can you do Subtraction? Take nine from eight." "Nine from eight I can't, you know," Alice replied very readily: "but--" "She can't do Subtraction," said the White Queen. "Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife--what's the answer to that?" "I suppose--" Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her. "Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog: what remains?" Alice considered. "The bone wouldn't remain, of course, if I took it-- and the dog wouldn't remain; it would come to bite me--and I'm sure _I_ shouldn't remain!" [Illustration: ALICE CONSIDERED] "Then you think nothing would remain?" said the Red Queen. "I think that's the answer." "Wrong as usual," said the Red Queen; "the dog's temper would remain." "But I don't see how--" "Why, look here!" the Red Queen cried. "The dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it?" "Perhaps it would," Alice replied cautiously. "Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!" the Queen exclaimed triumphantly. Alice said, as gravely as she could, "They might go different ways." But she couldn't help thinking to herself, "What nonsense we ARE talking!" "She can't do sums a BIT," the queens said together, with great emphasis. "Can YOU do sums?" Alice said, turning suddenly on the White Queen, for she didn't like being found fault with so much. The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. "I can do Addition," she said, "if you give me time--but I can't do Subtraction under ANY circumstances!" "Of course you know your A B C?" said the Red Queen.