What have I done?... I am obeying ... what?... I do not know.... What
have I said?... It is not I speaking.... I have lost happiness,
the present, the future.... I am no longer my own master.... I do
what I hate to do... I do not know who I am.... Joyzelle!... Ah, my
Joyzelle!...
[_He falls, sobbing, with his face to the ground._
ACT III
SCENE I.--_A Room in the Palace_
[_LANCÉOR is discovered before a mirror. He appears
emaciated, bent, aged, unrecognizable._
LANCÉOR.
Who am I? In a few hours I have aged thirty years.... The poison is
doing its work and sorrow too.... I see myself with terror in this
mirror which shows me the wreck of myself.... Yet, it does not lie.
(_Going to another mirror._) For here is another that says the same
thing ... unless they all lie, even as everything seems to lie and
to mock at me in this extraordinary island. (_He feels his face._)
Alas, they are right!... These wrinkles which my hand follows are not
formed by their malevolent crystal.... They are in my flesh!... And
these hideous blemishes which will not come away, I feel them under
my fingers.... These bent shoulders refuse to straighten themselves;
my hair is colourless, like pale ashes after the flame has died away;
my eyes, even my eyes, hardly recognize themselves.... They used to
open, to laugh, to welcome life.... Now they blink and their glances
avoid me like the glances of a knave.... Not a thing remains to me
of what I was; my mother would pass by me and not see me.... It is
finished.... (_Drawing the curtain of a tall window._) Let us hide
ourselves; let complete dusk cover up all this!... (_He lies down in
a dark corner of the room._) I give up, I consent.... I have done
what love can never forgive.... I am losing my life at last, as I
have lost Joyzelle.... She will not see me again, I shall not see her
again....
[_A door opens. Enter JOYZELLE._
JOYZELLE.
(_Surprised by the darkness, she stands a moment on the threshold.
Then, casting her eyes around the room, she perceives LANCÉOR
lying in a corner and rushes towards him with outstretched arms._)
Lancéor!... Ah, these last three days I have lived like a mad thing!
I looked for you everywhere. I went to the tower.... The doors were
closed, the windows too. I crouched on the sill to catch a glimpse of
your shadow, I called, I screamed, no one answered.... But how pale
you are, how thin!... I am talking to you without thinking.... Give
me your two hands....
LANCÉOR.
You know me?...
JOYZELLE.
Why not?
LANCÉOR.
But then I am not...? I am still myself?... Look at me!... What
trace of me remains?... (_Going to the window and tearing aside the
curtain._) Look! Look!... What do you know me by?... Tell me, is it
here?... Is it my hands, my eyes, my clothes, perhaps?...
JOYZELLE.
(_Looking at him and throwing herself, weeping, in his arms._) Oh,
how you have suffered!...
LANCÉOR.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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