"All these things in my mind point one way, viz.: towards the adoption of a profession of Ethical exposition, after my sort." She had been asked to give a lecture at Tufts College, and says of this: "The difficulties are great, the question is to me one of simple duty. If I am sent for, and have the word to say, I should say it." And again: "I determine that I can only be good in fulfilling my highest function--all else implies waste of power, leading to demoralization." She declined the invitation, "feeling unable to decide in favor of accepting it." "But I was sorry," she says, "and I remembered the words: 'He that hath put his hand to the plough and looketh back is not fit for the kingdom of heaven.' God keep me from so looking back!" The Journal of this spring is largely devoted to philosophic speculations and commentaries on Kant, whose theories she finds more and more luminous and convincing; now and then comes a note of her own:-- "'I am God!' says the fool. 'I see God!' says the wise man. For while you are your own supreme, you are your own God, and self-worship is true atheism." "It is better to use a bad man by his better side than a good man by his worse side." "Christ said that he was older than Abraham. I think that he used this expression as a measure of value. His thoughts were further back in the primal Ideal necessity. He did not speak of any personal life antedating his own existence.... In his own sense, Christ was also newer than we are, for his doctrine is still beyond the attainment of all and the appreciation of most of us." "There is no essential religious element in negation." "Saw Booth in 'Hamlet'--still first-rate, I think, although he has played it one hundred nights in New York. 'Hamlet' is an æsthetic Evangel. I know of no direct ethical work which contains such powerful moral illustration and instruction." "James Freeman [Clarke] does not think much of Sam's book, probably not as well as it deserves. But the knowledge of Sam's personality is the light behind the transparency in all that he does."[52] [52] _Lyrical Ventures_, by Samuel Ward. These were the closing months of the Civil War. All hearts were lifted up in thankfulness that the end was near. She speaks of it seldom, but her few words are significant. "_Monday, April 3...._ Richmond was taken this morning. _Laus Deo!_" On April 10, after "Maud's boots, $3.00, Vegetables, .12, Bread, .04," we read, "Ribbons for victory, .40. To-day we have the news of Lee's surrender with the whole remnant of his army. The city is alive with people. All flags hung out--shop windows decorated--processions in the street. All friends meet and shake hands. On the newspaper bulletins such placards as '_Gloria in excelsis Deo_,' 'Thanks be to God!' We all call it the greatest day of our lives. "Apples, half-peck, .50."