Saint Werner's chapel on a Sunday evening is a moving sight. Five
hundred men in surplices thronging the chapel from end to end--the very
flower of English youth, in manly beauty, in strength, in race, in
courage, in mind--all kneeling side by side, bound together in a common
bond of union by the grand historic associations of that noble place--
all mingling their voices together with the trebles of the choir and the
thunder-music of the organ. This is a spectacle not often equalled; and
to take a share in it, as one for whose sake in part it has been
established, is a privilege not to be forgotten. The music, the
devotion, the spirit of the place, smoothed the swelling thoughts of
Julian's troubled heart. "Are we not all brethren? Hath not one Father
begotten us?" Such began to be the burden of his thoughts, rather than
the old "Scorn!--to be scorned by one that I scorn." And when the
glorious tones of the anthem ceased, and the calm steady voice of the
chaplain was heard alone, uttering in the sudden hush the grand overture
to the noble prayer--
"_O Lord, our heavenly Father, high and mighty, King of Kings, Lord of
Lords, the only Ruler of princes, who dost from thy throne behold all
the dwellers upon earth_."
Then the last demon of wrath was exorcised, and Julian thought to
himself--
"No; from henceforth I scorn no one, and am indifferent alike to the
proud man's scorn and the base man's sneer."
The two incidents that we have narrated made Julian fear that his
position as a sizar would be one of continual annoyance. He afterwards
gratefully acknowledged that in such a supposition he was quite
mistaken. Never again while he remained a sizar did he hear the
slightest unkind allusions to the circumstance, and but for the external
regulations imposed by the college, he might even have forgotten the
fact. Those regulations, especially the hall arrangements, were indeed
sufficiently disagreeable at times. It could not be pleasant to dine in
a hall which had just been left by hundreds of men, and to make the meal
amid the prospect of slovenly servants employed in the emptying of
wine-glasses and the ligurrition of dishes, sometimes even in passages
of coquetry or noisy civilities, on the interchange of which the
presence of these undergraduates seemed to impose but little check.
These things may be better now, and in spite of them Julian felt hearty
reason to be grateful for the real kindness of the Saint Werner's
authorities. In other respects he found that the fact of his being a
sizar made no sort of difference in his position; he found that the
majority of men either knew or cared nothing about it, and sought his
society on terms of the most unquestioned equality, for the sake of the
pleasure which his company afforded them, and the thoughts which it
enabled them to ventilate or interchange.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
STUDY AND IDLENESS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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