The way he said it held conviction as of sunrise, but anyhow denial in
myself seemed equally to have disappeared. Deep within me a sense of
reality answered willingly to his own.
“And myself?” he went on gently yet eagerly at the same time, his eyes
searching my own. “Don’t you remember--me? Have I, too, gone quite
beyond recall?”
But with truth my answer came at once:
“Something ... perhaps ... comes back to me ... a little,” I stammered.
For while aware of a keen sensation that I talked with someone I knew
as well as I knew my own father, nothing at the moment seemed wholly
real to me except his sensitive, pale face with the large and beautiful
eyes so keenly peering, and the tangled hair escaping under that
ridiculous school cap. The pine trees in the cricket-field rose into
the fading sky behind him, and I remember being puzzled to determine
where his hair stopped and the feathery branches began.
“... carrying the spears up the long stone steps in the sunshine,”
his voice murmured on with a sound like running water, “and the old
man in the robe of yellow standing at the top ... and orchards below,
all white and pink with blossoms dropping in the wind ... and miles
of plain in blue distances far away, the river winding ... and birds
fishing in the shallow places ...”
The picture flashed into my mind. I saw it. I remembered it in detail
as easily as any childhood scene of a few years ago, but yet through
a blur of summery haze and at the end of a stupendous distance that
reduced the scale to lilliputian proportions. I looked down the wrong
end of a telescope at it all. The appalling distance--and something
else as well I was at a loss to define--frightened me a little.
“I ... my people, I mean ... live in Sussex,” I remember saying
irrelevantly in my bewilderment, “and my father’s a clergyman.” It was
the upper part of me that said it, no doubt anticipating the usual
question “What’s your father?” My voice had a lifeless, automatic sound.
“That’s now,” LeVallon interrupted almost impatiently. “It’s thinking
of these things that hides the others.”
Then he smiled, leaning against the wall beside me while the sunset
flamed upon the clouds above us and the tide of noisy boys broke,
tumbling about our feet. I see those hurrying clouds, crimson and gold,
that scrimmage of boys in the school playground, and Julius LeVallon
gazing into my eyes, his expression rapt and eager--I see it now across
the years as plainly as I saw that flash of inner scenery far, far
away. I even hear his low voice speaking. The whole, strange mood that
rendered the conversation not too incredibly fantastic at the time
comes over me again as I think of it.
He went on in that murmuring tone, putting true words to the pictures
that rolled clearly through me:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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