My emotions sank comfortably to a less inflated level. I murmured
something politely as we passed into the so-called “sitting-room”
together, and for a moment the atmosphere of my own practical world
came in strongly with me. The sense of the incongruous inevitably was
touched. The immense fabric of my friend’s beliefs seemed in that
instant to tremble a little. That the woman he--_we_--had been waiting
for through centuries, this “old soul” taught of the ancient wisdom and
aware of august, forgotten worship, should be “making a bed upstairs”
woke in me a sense of healthy amusement. Julius took up the water! She
was engaged in menial acts! A girl brought butter from a distant farm!
And I could have laughed--but for one other thing that lay behind and
within the comedy. For that other thing was--pathos. There was a kind
of yearning pain at the heart of it: a pain whose origins were too
remote to be discoverable by the normal part of me.
It touched the poetry in me, too. For after the first disturbing
effect--that it was not adequate--I felt slowly another thing: that
this commonplace meeting was far more likely to be _true_ than the
dramatic sort I had anticipated. It was natural, it was simple; all big
adventures of the soul begin in a quiet way. Obviously, as yet, the two
selves in me were not yet comfortably readjusted.
I became aware, too, that Julius was what I can only call somewhere
less human than before--more impersonal. He talked, he acted, he even
looked as a figure might outside our world. I had no longer insight
into his being as before. His life lay elsewhere, expresses it best
perhaps. I can hardly present him as a man of flesh and blood. Emotion
broke through so rarely.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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