At first the shock of his words deprived me of any power to think. I
was not offended, I was simply speechless. He forgot who I was and
what my life had been, forgot my relation with himself, forgot also
the brevity of my acquaintance with his wife. He forgot, too, that
I had accepted her, an inferior woman, accepted her without a hint
of regret--nay, let me use the word I mean--of contempt that he, my
friend, had linked his life with such a being--married her. And,
further, he forgot all that was due to himself, to me, to _her!_ It was
too distressing. What could he possibly think of me, of himself, of
her, that so outrageous a statement, and without a shred of evidence,
could pass his lips? I, a middle-aged professor of geology, with an
established position in the world! And she, a parlour-maid he had been
wild enough to marry for the sake of some imagined dream, a woman,
moreover, I had seen for the first time a short hour before, and with
whom I had exchanged a few sentences in bare politeness, remembering
that this uneducated creature was the wife of my old friend, and----!
Thought galloped on in indignant disorder and agitation. The pretence
was so apparent even to myself. But I remained speechless. For while
he spoke, looking me calmly in the eye, without a sign of _arrière
pensée_, I realised in a flash--that it all was true. Like the witness
who still believes in his indignant answers until the lawyer puts
questions that confound him by unexpected self-revelation--I suddenly
saw--myself. My own heart opened in a blaze of fire. It was the truth.
And all this came upon me, not in a flash, but in a series of flashes.
I had not known it. I now discovered myself, but for the first time.
Layer after layer dropped away. The naked fact shone clearly.
“It is exactly what I hoped,” he went on quietly. “It proves memory
beyond all further doubt. A love like yours and hers can never die.
Even another thirty thousand years could make no difference--the
instant you met you would be bound to take it up again--exactly where
you left it off--no matter how long the interval of separation. The
first sign would be this divine and natural intimacy.”
“Of course.”
How I said it passes my understanding. I swear my lips moved without
my mind’s consent. The words slipped out. I couldn’t help myself. The
same instant some words he had used in our Edinburgh days came back to
me: that human love was somehow necessary to him, since love was the
greatest power in the world, the supreme example of “feeling-with.”
Without its aid--that majestic confidence it brings--his great
experiment must be impossible and fail. That union which is love was
necessary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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