“The ‘world’ has smothered it--temporarily,” he put in gently.
“And what is more,” I continued, ignoring his interruption, “I must
confess that I have no stomach now for any ‘great experiment’ such as
you think our coming together in this valley must involve. Your idea
of reincarnation may be true--why not? It’s a most logical conception.
And we three may have been together before--granted! I admit I rather
like the notion. It may even be conceivable that the elemental powers
of Nature are intelligent, that men and women could use them to their
advantage, and that worship and feeling-with is the means to acquire
them--it’s just as likely as that some day we shall send telegrams
without wires, thoughts and pictures too!”
I drew breath a moment, while he waited patiently, linking his arm in
mine and listening silently.
“It may even be possible, too,” I went on, finding some boyish relief
in all these words, “that we three together in earlier days _did_--in
some kind of primitive Nature Worship--make wrong use of an unconscious
human body to evoke those particular Powers you say exist behind
Wind and Fire, and that, having thus upset the balance of material
forces, we must readjust that balance or suffer accordingly--_you_ in
particular, since you were the prime mover----”
“How well you state it,” he murmured. “How excellent your memory is
after all.”
“But even so,” I continued, nettled by his calm interpretation of my
long and plodding objection, “and even if all you claim is true--I--I
mean bluntly--that the transitory acceptance you woke in me years
ago no longer holds. I am with you now merely to keep a promise, a
boy’s promise, but my heart is no longer in the matter--except out of
curiosity--curiosity pure and simple.”
I stopped, or rather it was his face and the expression in his eyes
that stopped me. I felt convicted of somewhat pompous foolishness, my
sense of humour and proportion gone awry. Fear, with its ludicrous
inhibitions, made me strut in this portentous fashion. His face,
wearing the child’s expression of belief and confidence, arrested me by
its sheer simplicity. But the directness of his rejoinder, however--of
his words, at least, for it was not a reply--struck me dumb.
“You are afraid for _her_,” he said without a trace of embarrassment or
emotion, “because you love her still, even as she loves you--beneath.”
If unconsciously or consciously I avoided his eye, he made no attempt
to avoid my own. He looked calmly at me like some uncannily clairvoyant
lawyer who has pierced the elaborate evasions of his cross-examined
witness--yet a witness who believed in his own excuses, quite honestly
self-deceived.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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