“But you were saying--about the Blue Circle and the robes--that it was
time to----” I went on, then, with the effort to remember, lost the
clue completely. He _had_ said these other things, but already they had
dipped beyond recovery. I scrambled out of bed, almost expecting to
find some robe or other in place of my old grey dressing-gown beside
the chair. Strong feelings were in me, awe, wonder, high expectancy,
as of some grand and reverent worship. No mere bedroom of a modern
private school contained me. I was elsewhere, among imperial and august
conditions. I was aware of the Universe, and the Universe aware of me.
I spoke his name as I followed him softly over the carpet. But to my
amazement, my tongue refused the familiar “Julius” of to-day, and
framed instead another sound. Four syllables lay in the name. It was
“Concerighé” that slipped from my lips. Then instantly, in the very
second of utterance, it was gone beyond recovery. I tried to repeat the
name, and could not find it.
Julius laughed softly just below his breath, making no reply. I saw his
white teeth shine in the semi-darkness. He moved away on tiptoe towards
the window, while I followed....
The lower sash was open wide as usual. I heard Goldingham breathing
quietly in his sleep. Still with the mistiness of slumber round me,
I felt bewildered, half caught away, as it seemed, into some web of
ancient, far-off things that swung earthwards from the stars. In this
net of other times and other places, I hung suspended above the world I
ordinarily knew. I was not Mason, a Sixth-Form boy at a private school
in Kent, yet I was indubitably myself. A flood of memories rose; my
soul moved among more spacious conditions; all hauntingly alive and
real, yet never recoverable completely....
We stood together by the open window and looked out. The country lay
still beneath the fading stars. A faint breath of air stirred in the
laurel shrubberies below. The notes of awakening birds, marvellously
sweet, came penetratingly from the distant woods. I smelt the night,
I smelt the coolness of very early morning, but there was another
subtler, wilder perfume, that came to my nostrils with a deep thrill of
happiness I could not name. It was the perfume of another day, another
time, another land, all three as familiar to me as this Kentish hill
where now I lived, yet gone otherwise beyond recall. Deep emotion
stirred in me the sense of recognition, as though smell alone had the
power to reconstruct the very atmosphere of those dim days by raising
the ghosts of feelings that once accompanied them....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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