And my heart gave a bound of excitement at the sound of his voice. In
some strange way the whole thing seemed familiar. I had expected this.
It had happened before. And, very swiftly, a fragment of that inner
scenery, laid like a theatre-inset against the playground of to-day,
flashed through the depths of me, then vanished.
“What is your name?” he asked me, very gently.
“Mason,” I told him, conscious that I flushed and almost stammered.
“John Mason. I’m a new boy.” Then, although my brother, formerly Head
of the school, had already gone on to Winchester, I added “Mason
secundus.” My outer self felt shy, but another, deeper self realised
a sense of satisfaction that was pleasure. I was aware of a desire to
seize his hand and utter something of this bigger, happier sensation.
The strength of school convention, however, prevented anything of the
sort. I was at first embarrassed by the attention of a bigger boy, and
showed it.
He looked closely into my face a moment, as though searching for
something, but so penetratingly that I felt his eyes actually
inside me. The information I had given did not seem to interest him
particularly. At the same time I was conscious that his near presence
affected me in a curious way, for I lost the feeling that this
attention to a new boy was flattering and unusual, and became aware
that there was something of great importance he wished to say to me. It
was all right and natural. There was something he desired to find out
and know: it was not my name. A vague yet profound emotion troubled me.
He spoke then, slowly, earnestly; the voice gentle and restrained, but
the expression in the eyes and face so grave, almost so solemn, that it
seemed an old and experienced man who addressed me, instead of a boy
barely sixteen years of age.
“Have you then ... quite ... forgotten ... everything?” he asked,
making dramatic pauses thus between the words.
And, singular in its abruptness though the question was, there flashed
upon me even while he uttered it, a sensation, a mood, a memory--I
hardly know what to call it--that made the words intelligible. It
dawned upon me that I _had_ “forgotten ... everything ... quite”:
crowded, glorious, ancient things, that somehow or other I ought
to have remembered. A faint sense of guiltiness accompanied the
experience. I felt disconcerted, half ashamed.
“I’m afraid ... I have,” came my faltering reply. Though bewildered, I
raised my eyes to his. I looked straight at him. “I’m--Mason secundus
... now....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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