“Mr. Booper!” ejaculates Mr. Snivel, knocking the ashes from his cigar and rising to his feet, “you have paid no more than a merited compliment to the masterly completeness of this excellent man’s cribbing. (He points to the cribber, and bows.) Now, permit me to say here, I have at my disposal a set of fellows, (he smiles,) who can fight their way into Congress, duplicate any system of sharps, and stand in fear of nothing. Oh! gentlemen, (Mr. Snivel becomes enthusiastic,) I was-as I have said, I believe-enjoying a bottle of champagne with my friend Keepum here, when we overheard two Dutchmen-the Dutch always go with the wrong party-discoursing about a villanous caucus held to-night in King street. There is villany up with these Dutch! But, you see, we-that is, I mean I-made some forty or more citizens last year. We have the patent process; we can make as many this year.” Mr. Sharp, an exceedingly clever politician, who has meekly born any number of cudgellings at the polls, and hopes ere long to get the appointment of Minister to Paris, interrupts by begging that Mr. Soloman will fill his glass, and resume his seat. Mr. Snivel having taking his seat, Mr. Sharp proceeds: “I tell you all what it is, says I, the other day to a friend-these ponderous Dutch ain’t to be depended on. Then, says I, you must separate the Irish into three classes, and to each class you must hold out a different inducement, says I. There’s the Rev. Father Flaherty, says I, and he is a trump card at electioneering. He can form a breach between his people and the Dutch, and, says I, by the means of this breach we will gain the whole tribe of Emeralds over to our party. I confess I hate these vagabonds right soundly; but necessity demands that we butter and sugar the mover until we carry our ends. You must not look at the means, says I, when the ends are momentous.” “The staunch Irish,” pursues the Judge, rising as Mr. Sharp sits down, “are noble fellows, and with us. To the middle class-the grocers and shopkeepers-we must, however, hold out flattering inducements; such as the reduction of taxes, the repeal of our oppressive license laws, taking the power out of the hands of our aristocracy-they are very tender here-and giving equal rights to emigrants. These points we must put as Paul did his sermons-with force and ingenuity. As for the low Irish, all we have to do is to crib them, feed and pickle them in whiskey for a week. To gain an Irishman’s generosity, you cannot use a better instrument than meat, drink, and blarney. I often contemplate these fellows when I am passing sentence upon them for crime.” “True! I have the same dislike to them personally; but politically, the matter assumes quite a different form of attraction. The laboring Irish-the dull-headed-are what we have to do with. We must work them over, and over, and over, until we get them just right. Then we must turn them all into legal voting citizens—”