Mr. Sheriff Hardscrabble, always eager to get every one into jail he
can, inasmuch as it pays him twenty-two cents a day clear profit on
each and every person confined, says: “A hard customer. Found sleeping
in the market, eh? Well, we must merge him in a tub of water, and scrub
him up a little.” Mr. Hardscrabble views him with an air of
satisfaction, touches him with a small cane he holds in his hand, as if
he were something very common. Indeed, Mr. Hardscrabble seems quite at
a loss to know what species of animal he is, or whether he be really
intended for any other use than filling up his cells and returning him
twenty-two cents a day clear profit. “Probably an incendiary,” mutters
the sagacious sheriff. The helpless boy would explain how he came to
sleep in the market-how he, a poor cabin-boy, walked, foot-sore and
hungry, from Wilmington, in the hope of getting a ship; and being
moneyless and friendless he laid down in the market to sleep. Mr.
Hardscrabble, however, suggests that such stories are extremely common.
His Honor thinks it not worth while to differ from this opinion, but to
the end that no great legal wisdom may be thrown away, he orders the
accused to be sent to the common jail for three months. This, in the
opinion of Judge Sleepyhorn, is an extremely mild penalty for being
found sleeping in the market.
Next there comes forward a lean, up-country Cracker, (an half-civilized
native,) who commences telling his story with commendable simplicity,
the Judge in the meanwhile endeavoring to suppress a smile, which the
quaintness of his remarks excite. Making a tenement of his cart, as is
usual with these people when they visit the city, which they do now and
then for the purpose of replenishing their stock of whiskey, he had,
about eleven o’clock on the previous night, been set upon by three
intoxicated students, who, having driven off his mule, overturned his
cart, landing him and his wife prostrate in the ditch. A great noise
was the result, and the guard, with their accustomed zeal for seizing
upon the innocent party, dragged up the weaker (the Cracker and his
wife) and let the guilty go free. He had brought the good wife, he
added, as a living evidence of the truth of what he said, and would
bring the mule if his honor was not satisfied. The good wife commences
a volley of what she is pleased to call voluntary testimony, praising
and defending all the good qualities of her much-abused husband,
without permitting any one else an opposing word. No sufficient charge
being brought against the Cracker (he wisely slipped a five dollar bill
into the hands of Stubbs), he joins his good wife and goes on his way
rejoicing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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