“There you will find her. Ah, many times have I looked upon her, and
thought if I could only save her, how happy I could die. I shared the
same roof with her in Charleston, and when I got sick she was kind to
me, and watched over me, and was full of gentleness, and wept over her
condition. She has sighed many a time, and said how she wished she knew
how she came into the world, to be forced to live despised by the
world. But I got down, down, down, from one step to another, one step
to another, as I had gone up from one step to another in the splendor
of vice, until I found myself, tortured in mind and body, a poor
neglected wretch in the Charleston Poor-house. In it I was treated
worse than a slave, left, sick and heart-broken, and uncared-for, to
the preying of a fever that destroyed my mind. And as if that were not
enough, I was carried into the dungeons-the ‘mad cells,’-and chained.
And this struck such a feeling of terror into my soul that my reason,
as they said, was gone forever. But I got word to Anna, and she came to
me, and gave me clothes and many little things to comfort me, and got
me out, and gave me money to get back to New York, where I have been
ever since, haunted from place to place, with scarce a place to lay my
head. Surely I have suffered. Shall I be forgiven?” Her voice here
falters, she becomes weak, and seems sinking under the burden of her
emotions. “If,—if-if,” she mutters, incoherently, “you can save me, and
forgive me, you will have the prayers of one who has drank deep of the
bitter cup.” She looks up with a sad, melancholy countenance, again
implores forgiveness, and bursts into loud sobs.
“Mine is the guilty part-it is me who needs forgiveness!” speaks Madame
Montford, pressing the hand of the forlorn woman, as the tears stream
down her cheeks. She has unburdened her emotions, but such is the
irresistible power of a guilty conscience that she finds her crushed
heart and smitten frame sinking under the shock-that she feels the very
fever of remorse mounting to her brain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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