“You are my son; I haven’t seen any of your mother’s handwriting for a
long time, but I recognize it readily. The story told in that diary
has been naturally colored by her feelings. I hope I am not quite as
black as she has painted me. But all that is past, and it is not my
intention to talk about it now. The point is, that you are my son.
Since hearing about this matter I have been thinking over our
relationship and asking myself what I ought to do. As my son, when I
die I shall see that you are not unprovided for; but the bulk of my
property will go to Ben, with something for Lucy. I wasn’t always as
prosperous as I am now; I’ve had to fight for what I’ve got, and I
still have to fight to keep it. I have done and am doing this for Ben.
Your sympathies have been from the first with those who are my
enemies, and in the legislature you voted with them from beginning to
end. You were elected chiefly by ranch votes, and you betrayed all of
the ranch interests. The thing is done now, and can’t be undone; yet,
after all my struggles, it is not pleasant to know that the hand of my
own son did this thing.”
He settled heavily back in his chair.
“So the most of what I have will go to Ben. He is wild, but he will
settle down; I was wild in my youth. You are like your mother. She was
an obstinate angel with an uncomfortable conscience, and for some men
such a woman is an unpleasant thing to live with.”
Justin felt a swelling of indignation at this mention of his mother.
“You have all of her obstinacy and general wrong-headedness on matters
which don’t concern you. I am willing to say to you frankly, that
after a brief experience with her I ceased to desire to live with her;
but even yet I do not think she had any good reason to leave me as she
did. It took her to her death, and in the long run has made you pretty
much what you are. So I do not see that I can blame you in all things,
but I do blame you for the pig-headed obstinacy and foolishness you
showed in Denver. You had a great opportunity to befriend those who
had befriended you and would have helped you, and you wilfully, even
maliciously, threw it away.”
In spite of his feelings Justin maintained a discreet silence. His
longing for something more than a bare recognition of his relationship
he saw was not to be gratified. He had returned the diary and the
Bible to his pocket, where he felt them close against his heart. They
seemed akin to an actual memory of his mother, and could not be taken
from him, whatever happened. Their pressure was almost as the touch of
his mother’s warm hand on his bosom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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