He was spending the night at the Callcotts. Harriet, too, was there. But
he was in no hurry to get back there. It was a clear and very starry
night. He took the tram-car away from the centre of the town, then
walked. As was always the case with him, in this country, the land and
the world disappeared as night fell, as if the day had been an illusion,
and the sky came bending down. There was the Milky Way, in clouds of
star-fume, bending down right in front of him, right down till it seemed
as if he would walk on to it, if he kept going. The pale, fumy drift of
the Milky Way drooped down and seemed so near, straight in front, that
it seemed the obvious road to take. And one would avoid the strange dark
gaps, gulfs, in the way overhead. And one would look across to the
floating isles of star-fume, to the south, across the gulfs where the
sharp stars flashed like lighthouses, and one would be in a new way
denizen of a new plane, walking by oneself. There would be a real new
way to take. And the mechanical earth quite obliterated, sunk out.
Only he saw, on the sea’s high black horizon, the various reddish
sore-looking lights of a ship. There they were--the signs of the ways of
men--hot-looking and weary. He turned quickly away from the marks of
the far-off ship, to look again at the downward slope of the great hill
of the Milky Way. He wanted so much to get out of this lit-up cloy of
humanity, and the exhaust of love, and the fretfulness of desire. Why
not swing away into cold separation? Why should desire always be
fretting, fretting like a tugged chain? Why not break the bond and be
single, take a fierce stoop and a swing back, as when a gannet plunges
like a white, metallic arrow into the sea, raising a burst of spray,
disappearing, completing the downward curve of the parabola in the
invisible underwater where it seizes the object of desire, then away,
away with success upwards, back flashing into the air and white space?
Why not? Why want to urge, urge, urge oneself down the causeways of
desirous love, hard pavements of love? Even like Kangaroo. Why shouldn’t
meeting be a stoop as a gannet stoops into the sea, or a hawk, or a
kite, in a swift rapacious parabola downwards, to touch at the lowermost
turn of the curve, then up again?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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