Or perhaps it was just the inversion of the season, the climate. His
blood, his whole corporeal being, expected summer, and long days and
short nights. And here he had wilfully come into the Southern
hemisphere, with long starry nights of winter, and the late sun rising
north-east behind the sea, and travelling northwards up the sky, as if
running away, and setting in a cold glare north-west, behind the
bluey-black range. It should have been bird-nesting time, and leaves and
flowers and tall corn and full summer with cherry blossom fallen and
cherries beginning to change colour. Whereas the grass was sere and
brown, the earth had gone winter-numb, the few deciduous trees were
bare, and only the uncanny coral tree flared its flowers of red-hot
iron.
Perhaps it was just this: the inversion of the seasons, the shock to his
blood and his system. For, of course, the body has its own rhythm, with
the sun and with the moon. The great nerve ganglia and the subtle glands
have their regular times and motions, in correspondence with the outer
universe. And these times and motions had suddenly received a check from
the outer universe: a distinct check. He had had an inkling of what it
would be when, from the ship in the Indian Ocean he had seen the great
and beloved constellation Orion standing on its head as if pitching head
foremost into the sea, and the bright dog Sirius coursing high above his
heels in the outer air. Then he had realised the inversion in the
heavens.
And perhaps it was this inversion which had brought up all that
corrosive and bitter fire from the bowels of his unconscious, up again
into his full consciousness. If so, then let it be so.
One thing he realised, however: that if the fire had suddenly erupted in
his own belly, it would erupt one day in the bellies of all men. Because
there it had accumulated, like a great horrible lava pool, deep in the
unconscious bowels of all men. All who were not dead. And even the dead
were many of them raging in the invisible, with gnashing of teeth. But
the living dead, these he could not reckon with: they with poisonous
teeth like hyænas.
Rage! Rage! Rage! The awful accumulations that lie quiescent and
pregnant in the bowels of men. He thought of the big gaunt collier with
the blunt, seal-like face shorn of its intelligence, squatting naked and
ghastly on his heels. It passes, it passes for the time being. But in
those moments there is an inward disruption, and the death-hot lava
pours loose into the deepest reservoirs of the soul. One day to erupt:
or else to go hard and rocky, dead.
Even the athletic young man who wanted to be approved of. Even he. He
had not much true spunk. But what was he feeling now? Unless, of course,
he had got into business and was successfully coining money. That seemed
to be the only safety-valve: success in money-making. But how many men
were successful, now?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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