"Lonely! Who can be more lonely than I am? You have been so much loved;
I would give any thing for even the memory of such affection, as the
dear Colonel had, for you; some one to live for, some one to die for,
who would understand your every glance!"
"But, dearest Georgy, you had all this in your husband!"
"Yes! Oh, heaven forgive my forgetfulness, but now I feel so wearied
with this vain struggle! If I had been blessed with children I should
have something to live for." She paused and pressed her hand against
her eyes. "Come, I will give myself rest and freedom, I will live for
you, and you only, my Kate, you shall be my daughter."
And she held her with a wild firm pressure to her heart.
And Kate, puzzled by this unaccountable outbreak, returned her embrace,
silently praying to God to direct her beautiful but wayward kinswoman
aright.
CHAPTER III.
OLD ACQUAINTANCE.
Lord Effingham's visits were constant and apparently welcome, for Kate
soon began to observe a restlessness in her cousin, when the hour at
which he usually made his appearance passed without his arrival. At
first, Kate had taken her work or book to her own room or to the Palace
Garden, when his name was announced, but Lady Desmond had soon cut off
her retreat by observing--
"You must act chaperone for me, dear Kate, but if strangers are so
repugnant to you, I will tell Lord Effingham, and he shall not come
here any more."
And Miss Vernon knew very well, whatever her inclination might be, what
was expected. Yet there was much in their visitor's conversation that
drew her out of herself, and interested her by force of contrast to her
own views, although the indolence of depression rendered her averse to
the exertion of argument. Besides, Lord Effingham was often apparently
unconscious of her presence, and scarcely ever addressed himself to
her, so much so, that Lady Desmond had thought herself called upon to
make a sort of apology for him.
Yet Kate more than once caught his eyes fixed upon herself, and
felt that her few occasional observations were listened to with an
attention all the deeper for its unobtrusiveness; in short, she felt
certain he remembered her, and watched for some indication, either of
consciousness or resentment on her part, while each day rendered her
more at ease, as she observed his attentions to her cousin.
The quiet routine of their lives was seldom interrupted.
Lady Desmond sometimes went to town, and generally Lord Effingham's
name figured in the same list of distinguished fashionables present
at balls, dinners, &c., with her own. Kate began to think that their
present intercourse had fallen into a natural channel of indifference,
and that the bold stranger of Kensington Gardens, was totally merged in
the high-bred reserved earl; but she was mistaken.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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