At this time a letter reached her from Winter. He had been a much
better correspondent since the poor Colonel's death, and his letters
were a source of inexpressible comfort to Kate; they cheered, while
they sympathized in her deep sorrow--she wrote to him in the fullest
confidence, and detailed all matters of personal interest, with a
minuteness that showed how welcome was the task of correspondence to
her.
The present despatch, after some slight sketch of his plans, which
included an excursion of some months into Spain, and a few rapturous
exclamations at the scenery, continued thus--"You say, 'now I have
room enough in my heart to think of it, I begin to feel, in spite
of Georgy's excessive kindness and generosity, a strangely, painful
sensation, at times, that not even the clothes I wear, are, properly
speaking, my own--shelter, food, all are hers; and though she never,
I am certain, gives this a thought, I feel that it mars the equality,
which is the soul of friendship--I feel strongly, though indistinctly
that this must not, and cannot last; but I am, as yet, incapable of
forming any future plan.'
"All this is very natural, and exactly what I advised you and our
dear departed friend against, when your cousin invited you to join
her at Florence, last year. Dependency is a thing repugnant to human
nature; but for the present it is right for you to stay where you
are; so be patient, it will be time enough to talk of plans when we
return, which will be soon, certainly before Christmas. I want to have
you quietly to ourselves, away from finery and fashion, then we will
settle everything. Meantime, as I consider you my adopted daughter,
if you will allow me, you must just put the enclosed cheque in your
dressing-box, as a sort of reserve, in case of foul weather--this is a
mere sop to my fidgetty conscience, as I am too selfish to return home
at once, to take care of you, which I believe it is my duty to do, and
I shall have but small comfort if you refuse; pooh! my dear, it is only
to oblige your old _maestro_!
"I see our former acquaintance, Fred Egerton has been performing
prodigies of valour against those wretched Sikhs--what deplorable
insanity war is! I have no patience with such courage. Well, good
night, I wish you could have a peep at the moon-lit mountain range,
opposite my window. Ah! dear child, you have known much sorrow, but who
can look on the exquisite loveliness, which earth, though cursed for
our sins, still possesses, and doubt that boundless beneficence and
wisdom alike framed our dwelling place, and directs the current of our
lives, God bless you, Kate; my wife greets you, write soon.
"Your true friend,
"J. WINTER."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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