Love stories; North Carolina -- Fiction; Women singers -- Fiction
"For God's sake, say something to me, Katrine!" he cried, at length.
"Tell me even that I am the contemptible cad you think me to be; only
say something. I cannot endure this. With every fibre of me I am longing
to take you in my arms, to kiss your eyes that have the ache in them.
God knows how I want you and how I am suffering!"
Her lips quivered for an instant before she controlled herself to speak.
"There seems nothing to say except 'Good-bye.'"
Her voice was infinitely sad and tender. There was neither anger nor
resentment in it, and she rose as though to leave him, but he held her
back. The great womanliness of her, the ability to suffer in silence,
and the dignity of such a silence touched him strangely. There was a sob
in his throat as he spoke.
"Forgive me!" he said. "Oh, say you forgive me, Katrine!"
"Dear," she answered--and as she spoke she put her hand on his brown
hair, as a mother might have done, "I don't want you to suffer like
this. I might have known, had I thought about it at all, that you would
never marry me. But it seemed so perfect as it was, I never thought at
all, I just," it seemed as though she were saying her worst to him, "I
just trusted you."
He flung out one arm as though to protect himself from a physical blow,
and a moan escaped him.
"Let me tell you about myself," she continued; "it will be best, for we
may never meet again. Oh, please God," she cried, suddenly, "we may
never meet again in this world!"
The tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she sobbed aloud as she
spoke. He reached his arms toward her, but she moved away, sitting
silent until she regained such composure as would permit her to go on.
"The first thing I remember in my life, I must have been about three,
was my father's beating his head against the wall of the room in which I
was sleeping because my mother had left him. After that I became used to
anything--to sudden moves in the dark; to being alone with him through
the long nights when he had been drinking; to poverty, to black poverty
that means not enough to eat nor enough clothes to keep one warm; to
years and years of want and despair and misery. As I grew older and went
to the convent schools, some of the girls invited me home with them. It
was because of my looks and my voice, you know." There was sweet
humility in the statement, as though apologizing for the fact that she
had been desired. "And they were quite kind. Their parents liked me, and
one of them, I remember, said: 'She has a beautiful manner, which is
wonderful considering she is little better than a child of the streets.'
I could not feel even then how I was to blame for my birth, seeing that
it was a thing arranged for me by the good God. But I learned what to
expect.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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