Keeping Up with William: In which the Honorable Socrates Potter Talks of the Relative Merits of Sense Common and PreferredBacheller, Irving
Philosophy
Keeping Up with William: In which the Honorable Socrates Potter Talks of the Relative Merits of Sense Common and Preferred
Bacheller, Irving
World War, 1914-1918
“They had gone up to the St. Lawrence to camp out an' fish for a week or
so--Amos and his boy, Bill, and Ann Maria and her sister. One day when
they were landing a big fish they got into the stiff current above the
Long Sault. Something had to be done right away. Amos dropped his tackle
and began pulling on the oars. Bill went to work with his paddle. The
women began to complain an' move around and rock the boat. They knew
they were going to be drowned. They insisted upon it with loud cries.
Amos, in the midst of heroic efforts, tried to quiet them. They
continued to cry out and when the boat shipped water they dodged. It was
a bad situation.
“Amos fetched Ann Maria a cuff and told her to dry up an' sit still. The
women obeyed him. When they were out of danger he said:
“'It ain't fair to expect a man to rassle with a strong current an' run
an insane asylum all in the same minute. If ye can't help, don't hinder.
You two have been rockin' the boat for years an' I guess it's about time
ye quit.'
“People used to say that Ann Maria turned over a new leaf and behaved
herself proper after that.
“There's some folks that are pecking at the country these days. We're
in the current of the Long Sault and Uncle Sam has the oars. We should
remember that if we can't help we mustn't hinder. We can help William a
lot by just yelling and rocking the boat.
“I wish you would say to the boys in camp on both sides of the ocean
that I should like to go and share their work and perils. Last autumn
I crossed the French and British lines where hostile shells were
bursting--sometimes uncomfortably near me--and went within ninety feet
of the German trenches. I have tried the perils which our boys will have
to suffer, but, unfortunately, I am too old to fight with them.
“It is a great privilege they enjoy--that of going out to battle for
honor and decency and the good of the world. They have entered the great
university of common sense. There is no other like it. What a school
is that comradeship of the camp and the trenches! For the first time in
history the whole civilized world stands shoulder to shoulder.”
“Do you think our boys are likely to profit by their experience?” I
asked.
“It all depends on the boy.
“Let me tell you a story just as I heard it from the lips of an American
soldier lad. I would call it:
THE ALL HE LIFE
“He was a big, broad shouldered, brawny man with a rugged manner of
speech. He described himself very well when he said to me: I can think
as pure white as anybody but I want to talk like a he man.'
“He had been wounded by a burst of shrapnel and was not badly hurt,
although one side of his face looked as if it had been raked by the
claws of a leopard. He had told me that for a day after the accident
he had heard a sound in his head 'like two skeletons rassling on a tin
roof.'
“Who but an American soldier in France would talk like that? Indeed
I found that he was from Kansas City and had the mixed dialect of the
midcountry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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