Kenelm Chillingly — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Kenelm Chillingly — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
The parlour-maid here entered with a fresh supply of chops and a dish of
bacon and eggs, soon followed by a rice-pudding baked in a tin dish, and
of size sufficient to have nourished a charity school. When the repast
was finished, Kenelm seemed to forget the dangerous properties of the
carnivorous animal; and stretching himself indolently out, appeared
to be as innocently ruminative as the most domestic of animals
graminivorous.
Then said the boy, rather timidly, “May I ask you another favour?”
“Is it to knock down another uncle, or to steal another gig and cob?”
“No, it is very simple: it is merely to find out the address of a friend
here; and when found to give him a note from me.”
“Does the commission press? ‘After dinner, rest a while,’ saith the
proverb; and proverbs are so wise that no one can guess the author
of them. They are supposed to be fragments of the philosophy of the
antediluvians: came to us packed up in the ark.”
“Really, indeed,” said the boy, seriously. “How interesting! No, my
commission does not press for an hour or so. Do you think, sir, they had
any drama before the Deluge?”
“Drama! not a doubt of it. Men who lived one or two thousand years had
time to invent and improve everything; and a play could have had its
natural length then. It would not have been necessary to crowd the
whole history of Macbeth, from his youth to his old age, into an absurd
epitome of three hours. One cannot trace a touch of real human nature in
any actor’s delineation of that very interesting Scotchman, because
the actor always comes on the stage as if he were the same age when he
murdered Duncan, and when, in his sear and yellow leaf, he was lopped
off by Macduff.”
“Do you think Macbeth was young when he murdered Duncan?”
“Certainly. No man ever commits a first crime of violent nature, such as
murder, after thirty; if he begins before, he may go on up to any age.
But youth is the season for commencing those wrong calculations which
belong to irrational hope and the sense of physical power. You thus
read in the newspapers that the persons who murder their sweethearts are
generally from two to six and twenty; and persons who murder from other
motives than love--that is, from revenge, avarice, or ambition--are
generally about twenty-eight,--Iago’s age. Twenty-eight is the usual
close of the active season for getting rid of one’s fellow-creatures; a
prize-fighter falls off after that age. I take it that Macbeth was about
twenty-eight when he murdered Duncan, and from about fifty-four to sixty
when he began to whine about missing the comforts of old age. But
can any audience understand that difference of years in seeing a
three-hours’ play? or does any actor ever pretend to impress it on the
audience, and appear as twenty-eight in the first act and a sexagenarian
in the fifth?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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