MR. MIVERS (rousing himself).--"Before we plunge into that Serbonian bog--the controversy between the Realistic and the Idealistic academicians--I think the first thing to decide is what you want Kenelm to be hereafter. When I order a pair of shoes, I decide beforehand what kind of shoes they are to be,--court pumps or strong walking shoes; and I don't ask the shoemaker to give me a preliminary lecture upon the different purposes of locomotion to which leather can be applied. If, Sir Peter, you want Kenelm to scribble lackadaisical poems, listen to Parson John; if you want to fill his head with pastoral rubbish about innocent love, which may end in marrying the miller's daughter, listen to Parson John; if you want him to enter life a soft-headed greenhorn, who will sign any bill carrying 50 per cent to which a young scamp asks him to be security, listen to Parson John; in fine, if you wish a clever lad to become either a pigeon or a ring-dove, a credulous booby or a sentimental milksop, Parson John is the best adviser you can have." "But I don't want my son to ripen into either of those imbecile developments of species." "Then don't listen to Parson John; and there's an end of the discussion." "No, there is not. I have not heard your advice what to do if John's advice is not to be taken." Mr. Mivers hesitated. He seemed puzzled. "The fact is," said the Parson, "that Mivers got up 'The Londoner' upon a principle that regulates his own mind,--find fault with the way everything is done, but never commit yourself by saying how anything can be done better." "That is true," said Mivers, candidly. "The destructive order of mind is seldom allied to the constructive. I and 'The Londoner' are destructive by nature and by policy. We can reduce a building into rubbish, but we don't profess to turn rubbish into a building. We are critics, and, as you say, not such fools as to commit ourselves to the proposition of amendments that can be criticised by others. Nevertheless, for your sake, Cousin Peter, and on the condition that if I give my advice you will never say that I gave it, and if you take it that you will never reproach me if it turns out, as most advice does, very ill,--I will depart from my custom and hazard my opinion." "I accept the conditions."