Americans -- Europe -- Fiction; Cape Cod (Mass.) -- Fiction
Her criticisms were not confined to passengers of other nationalities.
Some of our own came in for comment quite as severe.
“Look at those girls at that table over there,” she whispered. “The two
in red, I mean. One of 'em has got a little flag pinned on her dress.
What do you suppose that is for?”
I looked at the young ladies in red. They were vivacious damsels and
their conversation and laughter were by no means subdued. A middle-aged
man and woman and two young fellows were their table-mates and the group
attracted a great deal of attention.
“What has she got that flag pinned on her for?” repeated Hephzy.
“She wishes everyone to know she's an American exportation, I suppose,”
I answered. “She is evidently proud of her country.”
“Humph! Her country wouldn't be proud of her, if it had to listen to
her the way we do. There's some exports it doesn't pay to advertise, I
guess, and she and her sister are that kind. Every time they laugh I
can see that Lady Erkskine shrivel up like a sensitive plant. I hope she
don't think all American girls are like those two.”
“She probably does.”
“Well, IF she does she's makin' a big mistake. I might as well believe
all Englishmen were like this specimen comin' now, and I don't believe
that, even if I do hail from Bayport.”
The specimen was the “Duke of Labrador,” who sauntered by, monocle in
eye, hands in pockets and an elaborate affection of the “Oxford stoop”
which he must have spent time and effort in acquiring. Hephzibah shook
her head.
“I wish Toronto was further from home than it is,” she declared. “But
there! I shan't worry about him. I'll leave him for Lord Erkskine and
his wife to be ashamed of. He's their countryman, or he hopes he is.
I've got enough to do bein' ashamed of those two American girls.”
It may be gathered from these conversations that Hephzy and I had been
so fortunate as to obtain a table by ourselves. This was not the case.
There were four seats at our table and, according to the chart of the
dining-saloon, one of them should be occupied by a “Miss Rutledge of New
York” and the other by “A. Carleton Heathcroft of London.” Miss Rutledge
we had not seen at all. Our table steward informed us that the lady was
“hindisposed” and confined to her room. She was an actress, he added.
Hephzy, whose New England training had imbued her with the conviction
that all people connected with the stage must be highly undesirable
as acquaintances, was quite satisfied. “Of course I'm sorry she isn't
well,” she confided to me “but I'm awfully glad she won't be at our
table. I shouldn't want to hurt her feelin's, but I couldn't talk to her
as I would to an ordinary person. I COULDN'T! All I should be able to
think of was what she wore, or didn't wear, when she was actin' her
parts. I expect I'm old-fashioned, but when I think of those girls
in the pictures outside that theater--the one we didn't go
to--I--well--mercy!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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