Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
bachelor's life? Newmarket for instance, and his London clubs, and
his fishing in Norway,--would she not endeavour to set her foot
upon them? Would it not be well that he should teach her that she
would not be allowed to interfere? He had therefore begun to teach
her,--and this had come of it! It had been quite unexpected, but
still he felt as though he were released from a burden.
He had accused her of having had another lover. At the moment an idea
had passed through his mind that she was suddenly prompted by her
conscience to tell him something that she had hitherto concealed.
There had been some lover, probably, as to whom everyone had been
silent to him. He was a jealous man, and for a moment he had been
hurt. He would have said that his heart had been hurt. There was but
little of heart in it, for it may be doubted whether he had ever
loved her. But there was something pricked him which filled him for
the instant with serious thoughts. When he had asked the question he
wished to see her at his feet. There had come no answer, and he told
himself that he was justified in thinking the surmise to be true. He
was justified to himself, but only for the moment, for at the next
had come her declaration that all was to be over between them. The
idea of the lover became buried under the ruins which were thus made.
So she intended to escape from him! But he also would escape
from her. After all, what an infinite trouble would a wife be to
him,--especially a wife of whose docility in harness he was not quite
assured. But there came upon him as he rode home an idea that the
world would say that he had been jilted. Of course he would have been
jilted, but there would be nothing in that except as the world might
speak of it. It was gall to him to have to think that the world of
Exeter should believe that Cecilia Holt had changed her mind, and had
sent him about his business. If the world of Exeter would say that
he had ill-used the girl, and had broken off the engagement for
mere fancy,--as she had done,--that would be much more endurable.
He could not say that such was the case. To so palpable a lie the
contradiction would be easy and disgraceful. But could he not so
tell the story as to leave a doubt on the minds of the people? That
question of another lover had not been contradicted. Thinking of it
again as he rode home he began to feel that the lover must be true,
and that her conduct in breaking off the engagement had been the
consequence. There had been some complication in the way of which
she had been unable to rid herself. At any rate it was quite out of
the question that he should have held himself to such an engagement,
complicated as it would have been with such a lover. There would be
some truth, therefore, in so telling the story as to leave the matter
in doubt, and in doubt he resolved that he would leave it. Before
he got back to the Deanery he was, he thought, thoroughly glad that
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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