Great Britain -- History -- Henry IV, 1399-1413 -- Drama; Henry IV, King of England, 1367-1413 -- Drama; Historical drama
GADSHILL.
That’s even as fair as “at hand, quoth the chamberlain,” for thou
variest no more from picking of purses than giving direction doth from
labouring; thou layest the plot how.
CHAMBERLAIN.
Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told you
yesternight: there’s a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath brought three
hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him tell it to one of his
company last night at supper; a kind of auditor, one that hath
abundance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already, and call
for eggs and butter. They will away presently.
GADSHILL.
Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’ clerks, I’ll give thee
this neck.
CHAMBERLAIN.
No, I’ll none of it. I pray thee, keep that for the hangman, for I know
thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may.
GADSHILL.
What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I’ll make a fat pair
of gallows; for, if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me, and thou
knowest he is no starveling. Tut, there are other Troyans that thou
dream’st not of, the which for sport sake are content to do the
profession some grace, that would, if matters should be looked into,
for their own credit sake make all whole. I am joined with no
foot-land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad
mustachio purple-hued malt-worms, but with nobility and tranquillity,
burgomasters and great oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will
strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner
than pray: and yet, zounds, I lie, for they pray continually to their
saint the commonwealth, or rather not pray to her, but prey on her, for
they ride up and down on her, and make her their boots.
CHAMBERLAIN.
What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out water in foul
way?
GADSHILL.
She will, she will; justice hath liquored her. We steal as in a castle,
cock-sure; we have the receipt of fern-seed, we walk invisible.
CHAMBERLAIN.
Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the night than to
fern-seed for your walking invisible.
GADSHILL.
Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as I am a
true man.
CHAMBERLAIN.
Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
GADSHILL.
Go to; _homo_ is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my
gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave.
[_Exeunt._]
SCENE II. The Road by Gads-hill.
Enter Prince Henry and Poins; Bardolph and Peto at some distance.
POINS.
Come, shelter, shelter! I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets
like a gummed velvet.
PRINCE.
Stand close.
[_They retire._]
Enter Falstaff.
FALSTAFF.
Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
PRINCE.
[_Coming forward._]
Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! What a brawling dost thou keep!
FALSTAFF.
Where’s Poins, Hal?
PRINCE.
He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him.
[_Retires._]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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