Great Britain -- History -- Henry IV, 1399-1413 -- Drama; Henry IV, King of England, 1367-1413 -- Drama; Historical drama
DOUGLAS.
That’s the worst tidings that I hear of yet.
WORCESTER.
Ay, by my faith, that bears a frosty sound.
HOTSPUR.
What may the King’s whole battle reach unto?
VERNON.
To thirty thousand.
HOTSPUR.
Forty let it be.
My father and Glendower being both away,
The powers of us may serve so great a day.
Come, let us take a muster speedily.
Doomsday is near; die all, die merrily.
DOUGLAS.
Talk not of dying. I am out of fear
Of death or death’s hand for this one half year.
[_Exeunt._]
SCENE II. A public Road near Coventry.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.
FALSTAFF.
Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of sack. Our
soldiers shall march through; we’ll to Sutton Co’fil’ tonight.
BARDOLPH.
Will you give me money, captain?
FALSTAFF.
Lay out, lay out.
BARDOLPH.
This bottle makes an angel.
FALSTAFF.
An if it do, take it for thy labour. An if it make twenty, take them
all, I’ll answer the coinage. Bid my lieutenant Peto meet me at town’s
end.
BARDOLPH.
I will, captain: farewell.
[_Exit._]
FALSTAFF.
If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused gurnet. I have
misused the King’s press damnably. I have got, in exchange of a hundred
and fifty soldiers, three hundred and odd pounds. I press me none but
good householders, yeomen’s sons, inquire me out contracted bachelors,
such as had been asked twice on the banns, such a commodity of warm
slaves as had as lief hear the devil as a drum, such as fear the report
of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild duck. I pressed me
none but such toasts-and-butter, with hearts in their bellies no bigger
than pins’ heads, and they have bought out their services; and now my
whole charge consists of ancients, corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of
companies—slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the
glutton’s dogs licked his sores; and such as indeed were never
soldiers, but discarded unjust servingmen, younger sons to younger
brothers, revolted tapsters, and ostlers trade-fallen; the cankers of a
calm world and a long peace, ten times more dishonourable-ragged than
an old fazed ancient; and such have I to fill up the rooms of them that
have bought out their services, that you would think that I had a
hundred and fifty tattered prodigals lately come from swine-keeping,
from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met me on the way, and told
me I had unloaded all the gibbets and pressed the dead bodies. No eye
hath seen such scarecrows. I’ll not march through Coventry with them,
that’s flat. Nay, and the villains march wide betwixt the legs as if
they had gyves on, for indeed I had the most of them out of prison.
There’s not a shirt and a half in all my company, and the half shirt is
two napkins tacked together and thrown over the shoulders like a
herald’s coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth, stolen
from my host at Saint Albans, or the red-nose innkeeper of Daventry.
But that’s all one; they’ll find linen enough on every hedge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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