Great Britain -- History -- Henry IV, 1399-1413 -- Drama; Henry IV, King of England, 1367-1413 -- Drama; Historical drama
youth,
that are written down old with all the characters of age?
Have
you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white
beard, a
decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice
broken,
your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every
part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call
yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John!
FALSTAFF. My lord, I was born about three of the clock in the
afternoon, with a white head and something a round belly. For
my
voice--I have lost it with hallooing and singing of anthems.
To
approve my youth further, I will not. The truth is, I am only
old
in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me
for
a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him.
For
the box of the ear that the Prince gave you--he gave it like
a
rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have
check'd
him for it; and the young lion repents--marry, not in ashes
and
sackcloth, but in new silk and old sack.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Well, God send the Prince a better companion!
FALSTAFF. God send the companion a better prince! I cannot rid
my
hands of him.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Well, the King hath sever'd you. I hear you are
going with Lord John of Lancaster against the Archbishop and
the
Earl of Northumberland.
FALSTAFF. Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look
you
pray, all you that kiss my Lady Peace at home, that our
armies
join not in a hot day; for, by the Lord, I take but two
shirts
out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily. If it
be a
hot day, and I brandish anything but a bottle, I would I
might
never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can
peep
out his head but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last
ever;
but it was alway yet the trick of our English nation, if they
have a good thing, to make it too common. If ye will needs
say I
am an old man, you should give me rest. I would to God my
name
were not so terrible to the enemy as it is. I were better to
be
eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with
perpetual motion.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Well, be honest, be honest; and God bless your
expedition!
FALSTAFF. Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to
furnish me
forth?
CHIEF JUSTICE. Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient
to
bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend me to my cousin
Westmoreland.
Exeunt CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT
FALSTAFF. If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man can
no
more separate age and covetousness than 'a can part young
limbs
and lechery; but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches
the
other; and so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy!
PAGE. Sir?
FALSTAFF. What money is in my purse?
PAGE. Seven groats and two pence.
FALSTAFF. I can get no remedy against this consumption of the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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