“I do not do much else,” he replied with a sad smile, “and get up
and stumble on. The mastership of one's heart is the ideal, you
know; and after all one's own life cannot be anything but struggle
and failure, for the power he is trying to conquer is infinite. When
I find my life very hard I do not complain, but know that the reason
for it is that I have chosen to have it real, and that the essence
of the soul is its effort. I think that is a very important thing to
feel about life, Miss Davis.”
“That is why I do not wish to be idle,” said Helen.
“It is just because people do not know this fact about the soul,”
the other continued, “and are not willing to dare and suffer, and
overcome dullness, and keep their spiritual faculties free, that
they sink down as they grow older, and become what they call
practical, and talk very wisely about experience. It is only when
God sends into the world a man of genius that no mountains of earth
can crush, and who keeps his faith and sweetness all through his
life that we learn the baseness of the thought that experience
necessarily brings cynicism and selfishness. There is to me in all
this world nothing more hateful than this disillusioned worldliness,
and nothing makes me angrier than to see it taking the name of
wisdom. If I were a man with an art, there is nothing, I think, that
I should feel more called to make war upon; it is a very blow in the
face of God. Nothing makes me sadder than to see the life that such
people live,--to see for instance how pathetic are the things they
call their entertainments; and when one knows himself that life is a
magic potion, to be drank with rapture and awe,--that every instance
of it ought to be a hymn of rejoicing, and the whole of it rich and
full of power, like some majestic symphony. I often find myself
wishing that there were some way of saving the time that people
spend in their pleasures;
“'Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains.'
As I kneel before God's altar of the heart I know that if I had
infinite time and infinite energy there would be beauty and joy
still to seek, and so as I look about me in the world and see all
the sin and misery that is in it, it is my comfort to know that the
reason for it is that men are still living the lives of the animals,
and have not even dreamed of the life that belongs to them as men.
That is something about which I feel very strongly myself,--that is
part of my duty as a man who seeks worship and rightness to mark
that difference in my own life quite plainly.”
Mr. Howard paused for a moment, and Helen said very earnestly, “I
wish that you would tell me about that.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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