“Helen, if you only could know as much as I know about these
things,” said Mrs. Roberts, “if you only could know the difference
between being in the middle and at the top of the social ladder!
Dear, why will you choose anything but the best when you can have
the best if you want it? I tell you once for all I do not care how
clever you are, or how beautiful you are, the great people will look
down on you for an upstart if you cannot match them and make just as
much of a show. And why can you not discover what your own tastes
are? I watched you last night, child; anyone could have seen that
you were in your element! You outshone everyone, Helen, and you
should do just the same all your life. Can you not see just what
that means to you?”
“Yes, Auntie,” said Helen, “but then--”
“Were you not perfectly happy last night?” interrupted the other.
“No,” protested the other, “that's just what I was going to say.”
“The only reason in the world why you are not, my dear, is that you
were tormenting yourself with foolish scruples. Can you not see that
if you once had the courage to rid yourself of them it would be all
that you need. Why are you so weak, Helen?”
“It is not weak!” exclaimed the other.
“Yes,” asserted Mrs. Roberts, “I say it is weak. It is weak of you
not to comprehend what your life is to be, and what you need for
your happiness. It is a shame for you to make no use of the glorious
gifts that are yours, and to cramp and hinder all your own progress.
I want you to have room to show your true powers, Helen!”
Helen had been leaning over the foot of the bed listening to her
aunt, stirred again by all her old emotion, and angry with herself
for being stirred; her unspoken resolution was not quite so steady
as it had been, tho like all good resolutions it remained in her
mind to torment her.
She sprang up suddenly with a very nervous and forced laugh. “I'm
glad I don't have to argue with you, Auntie,” she said, “and that
I'm saved the trouble of worrying myself ill. You see the Fates are
on my side,--I must have time to think, whether I want to or not.”
It was that comfort which saved her from further struggle with
herself upon the subject. (Helen much preferred being happy to
struggling.) She set hurriedly to work to dress, for her aunt told
her that the guests were nearly ready for breakfast.
“Nobody could sleep since all the excitement,” she said. “I wonder
it did not wake you.”
“I was tired,” said Helen; “I guess that was it.”
“You'll find the breakfast rather a sombre repast,” added Mrs.
Roberts, pathetically. “I've been up nearly three hours myself, so
frightened about poor Mr. Howard; I had neveer seen anyone so
dreadfully ill, and I was quite certain he was in his death agony.”
“Aunt Polly!” cried Helen with a sudden wild start, “why do you talk
like that?”
“I won't say any more about it,” was the reply, “only hurry up. And
put on your best looks, my dear, for Mr. Harrison to carry away in
his memory.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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