Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 2 (of 2)Irving, Washington
History
Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 2 (of 2)
Irving, Washington
New York (State) -- History -- Colonial period, ca. 1600-1775
Now, so it happened, that among his officers was a sturdy veteran named
Keldermeester, who had cherished, through a long life, a mop of hair not
a little resembling the shag of a Newfoundland dog, terminating in a
queue like the handle of a frying-pan, and queued so tightly to his head
that his eyes and mouth generally stood ajar, and his eyebrows were
drawn up to the top of his forehead. It may naturally be supposed that
the possessor of so goodly an appendage would resist with abhorrence an
order condemning it to the shears. On hearing the general orders, he
discharged a tempest of veteran, soldier-like oaths, and dunder and
blixums,—swore he would break any man’s head who attempted to meddle
with his tail,—queued it stiffer than ever, and whisked it about the
garrison as fiercely as the tail of a crocodile.
[Illustration:
KELDERMEESTER.
]
The eel-skin queue of old Keldermeester became instantly an affair of
the utmost importance. The Commander-in-chief was too enlightened an
officer not to perceive that the discipline of the garrison, the
subordination and good order of the armies of the Nieuw Nederlandts, the
consequent safety of the whole province, and ultimately the dignity and
prosperity of their High Mightinesses the Lords States-General,
imperiously demanded the docking of that stubborn queue. He decreed,
therefore, that old Keldermeester should be publicly shorn of his
glories in presence of the whole garrison; the old man as resolutely
stood on the defensive; whereupon he was arrested, and tried by
court-martial for mutiny, desertion, and all the other list of offences
noticed in the articles of war, ending with a “videlicet, in wearing an
eel-skin queue, three feet long, contrary to orders.” Then came on
arraignments, and trials, and pleadings; and the whole garrison was in a
ferment about this unfortunate queue. As it is well known that the
commander of a frontier post has the power of acting pretty much after
his own will, there is little doubt but that the veteran would have been
hanged or shot at least, had he not luckily fallen ill of a fever,
through mere chagrin and mortification,—and deserted from all earthly
command, with his beloved locks unviolated. His obstinacy remained
unshaken to the very last moment, when he directed that he should be
carried to his grave with his eel-skin queue sticking out of a hole in
his coffin.
This magnanimous affair obtained the general great credit as a
disciplinarian; but it is hinted that he was ever afterwards subject to
bad dreams and fearful visitations in the night, when the grizzly
spectrum of old Keldermeester would stand sentinel by his bedside, erect
as a pump, his enormous queue strutting out like the handle.
=Book VI.=
CONTAINING THE SECOND PART OF THE REIGN OF PETER THE HEADSTRONG, AND HIS
GALLANT ACHIEVEMENTS ON THE DELAWARE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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