Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 2 (of 2)Irving, Washington
History
Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 2 (of 2)
Irving, Washington
New York (State) -- History -- Colonial period, ca. 1600-1775
First of all came the Van Bummels, who inhabit the pleasant borders of
the Bronx: these were short fat men, wearing exceeding large
trunk-breeches, and were renowned for feats of the trencher. They were
the first inventors of suppawn, or mush and milk.—Close in their rear
marched the Van Vlotens, of Kaatskill, horrible quaffers of new cider,
and arrant braggarts in their liquor.—After them came the Van Pelts of
Groodt Esopus, dexterous horsemen, mounted upon goodly switch-tailed
steeds of the Esopus breed. These were mighty hunters of minks and
musk-rats, whence came the word _Peltry_.—Then the Van Nests of
Kinderhoeck, valiant robbers of birds’-nests, as their name denotes. To
these, if reports may be believed, we are indebted for the invention of
slap-jacks, or buckwheat-cakes.—Then the Van Higginbottoms, of Wapping’s
creek. These came armed with ferules and birchen rods, being a race of
schoolmasters, who first discovered the marvellous sympathy between the
seat of honor and the seat of intellect,—and that the shortest way to
get knowledge into the head was to hammer it into the bottom.—Then the
Van Grolls of Antony’s Nose, who carried their liquor in fair round
little pottles, by reason they could not bouse it out of their canteens,
having such rare long noses.—Then the Gardeniers of Hudson and
thereabouts, distinguished by many triumphant feats, such as robbing
watermelon-patches, smoking rabbits out of their holes, and the like,
and by being great lovers of roasted pigs’ tails. These were the
ancestors of the renowned congressman of that name.—Then the Van Hœsens,
of Sing-Sing, great choristers and players upon the jews-harp. These
marched two and two, singing the great song of St. Nicholas.—Then the
Couenhovens, of Sleepy Hollow. These gave birth to a jolly race of
publicans, who first discovered the magic artifice of conjuring a quart
of wine into a pint bottle.—Then the Van Kortlandts, who lived on the
wild banks of the Croton, and were great killers of wild ducks, being
much spoken of for their skill in shooting with the long bow.—Then the
Van Bunschotens, of Nyack and Kakiat, who were the first that did ever
kick with the left foot. They were gallant bushwhackers and hunters of
raccoons by moonlight.—Then the Van Winkles of Haerlem, potent suckers
of eggs, and noted for running of horses, and running up of scores at
taverns. They were the first that ever winked with both eyes at
once.—Lastly came the KNICKERBOCKERS, of the great town of Schaghtikoke,
where the folk lay stones upon the houses in windy weather, lest they
should be blown away. These derive their name, as some say, from
_Knicker_, to shake, and _Beker_, a goblet, indicating thereby that they
were sturdy toss-pots of yore; but, in truth, it was derived from
_Knicker_, to nod, and _Boeken_, books: plainly meaning that they were
great nodders or dozers over books. From them did descend the writer of
this history.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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