Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 2 (of 2)Irving, Washington
History
Knickerbocker's history of New York, vol. 2 (of 2)
Irving, Washington
New York (State) -- History -- Colonial period, ca. 1600-1775
And now are the hearty men of the Manhattoes, and their no less hearty
comrades, all lustily engaged under the trees, buffeting stoutly with
the contents of their wallets, and taking such affectionate embraces of
their canteens and pottles as though they verily believed they were to
be the last. And as I foresee we shall have hot work in a page or two, I
advise my readers to do the same, for which purpose I will bring this
chapter to a close,—giving them my word of honor, that no advantage
shall be taken of this armistice to surprise, or in any wise molest, the
honest Nederlanders while at their vigorous repast.
[Illustration: A vintage pen-and-ink drawing of a jolly, bald man
sitting in a chair with a large napkin tucked into his collar, holding a
spoon over a steaming bowl of soup.]
=Chapter VIII.=
CONTAINING THE MOST HORRIBLE BATTLE EVER RECORDED IN POETRY OR PROSE;
WITH THE ADMIRABLE EXPLOITS OF PETER THE HEADSTRONG.
Now had the Dutchmen snatched a huge repast, and finding themselves
wonderfully encouraged and animated thereby, prepared to take the field.
Expectation, says the writer of the Stuyvesant manuscript,—Expectation
now stood on stilts. The world forgot to turn round, or rather stood
still, that it might witness the affray,—like a round-bellied alderman,
watching the combat of two chivalrous flies upon his jerkin. The eyes of
all mankind, as usual in such cases, were turned upon Fort Christina.
The sun, like a little man in a crowd at a puppet-show, scampered about
the heavens, popping his head here and there, and endeavoring to get a
peep between the unmannerly clouds that obtruded themselves in his way.
The historians filled their ink-horns; the poets went without their
dinners, either that they might buy paper and goose-quills, or because
they could not get anything to eat. Antiquity scowled sulkily out of its
grave, to see itself outdone,—while even Posterity stood mute, gazing in
gaping ecstasy of retrospection on the eventful field.
The immortal deities, who whilom had seen service at the “affair” of
Troy, now mounted their feather-bed clouds, and sailed over the plain,
or mingled among the combatants in different disguises, all itching to
have a finger in the pie. Jupiter sent off his thunderbolt to a noted
coppersmith, to have it furbished up for the direful occasion. Venus
vowed by her chastity to patronize the Swedes, and in semblance of a
blear-eyed trull paraded the battlements of Fort Christina, accompanied
by Diana, as a sergeant’s widow, of cracked reputation. The noted bully,
Mars, stuck two horse-pistols into his belt, shouldered a rusty
firelock, and gallantly swaggered at their elbow, as a drunken
corporal,—while Apollo trudged in their rear, as a bandy-legged fifer,
playing most villanously out of tune.
[Illustration:
MARS AS A DRUNKEN COPORAL.
]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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