His eyes fell before her angry looks, and then she turned away
abruptly, and went back to the table, as though he had been already
gone, and he did go. She heard him gently shut the door, and slowly
walk across the adjoining room.
Before the last lingering step had died away, she was already steeped
in the bitterness of remorse and self-rebuke. She had condemned him
without a hearing. She called up the mute reproach of those mournful
eyes that had been gazing on her, and pictured to herself what he had
felt, when she had dismissed him thus. That day had separated them
more than they had ever been before. He had not been able to go to
sleep without talking it over, as they had always done. Now he had
come innocently to her door, and had answered her enquiry without
thinking--certainly without meaning mischief, and he had been sent away
like a detected culprit; expiating, unawares, the outrage of another
man, an hour before.
She found it so intolerable to be alone with this remorse, that she
fastened on her dress again, took up her light, and went into the
sitting-room.
She would have liked best to go straight up to his garret-room, to
excuse the flightiness of her temper, and to beg him to forget it and
forgive her, but from this, on reflection, she desisted. She would
rather go downstairs to old Christel, she thought, and speak to her
about some household matters; for which, to be sure, there was no
hurry, but she was yearning for the sound of some familiar human voice.
When she came to the landing place, she was not a little startled at
seeing Walter sitting in the dark, on the upper steps, leaning his head
upon both his hands. She could not be certain whether he was awake, or
had fallen asleep; for he did not move when the door opened behind him.
She set down her candlestick upon the top of the banisters, and in a
moment she was seated by his side on the steps; he lifted up his head,
and made a movement, as if he would have risen and taken flight.
"I beg your pardon," he said; "I hardly know myself, how I came to be
sitting here; but I will go upstairs directly--"
"Stop one moment; pray do!" she whispered softly; "I am so glad to find
you here; I had no peace after I had been so cross to you. Forgive
me;--this has been an agitating day to me in many ways; there have been
many things to pain me, and I made you suffer, poor dear, for what you
could not help."
He did not answer, but looked straight before him over the dark
staircase.
"Are you really angry with me?" she asked; he shook his head. "Angry
with you, I never _could_ be, he said mournfully.
"What was it that made you come to me so late?" she began again, after a
short silence. "You wanted something, that I saw by your face, only
just then, I was in such perplexity about my own affairs, as to seem
cross and indifferent to those of others. Would you like to talk to me
now?"
"What good would that do? I shall hear it quite soon enough?"
"Hear what?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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