Still no answer; only when she said: "I do believe you are seriously
vexed with me," it came out at last. "Is it true," he murmured, with
averted face; "is it true that you are going to be married to that
man?"
She started; a new sensation, strangely sweet, thrilled to her heart.
She laughed, as we do laugh, to ourselves, when we are quite alone, at
the memory of some delicious moment in the past; of happy love--of
brilliant triumph--of success in some feat of our boyish days. What it
was that delighted her so much, she could scarcely have defined.
"What makes you think such silly things?" she asked, completely
returning to their old footing; "don't you know I shall never be going
to be married to any man? When one has had a great big boy to educate,
and just got him out of the roughest rudiments, one really has no time
for other people; and who would thank me for bringing them such an
unruly step-son? Who put these fancies into your head?"
He told her; and they sate there side by side, for some minutes,
without saying anything.
"No, indeed, my dear boy," she began at last, in a tone of singular
solemnity; "I never mean to go and leave you, for the sake of any human
creature living. It is no sacrifice on my part; and you owe me nothing
for it. I should have to chain up my own heart first of all, were I
ever to settle down to any other mode of life, _any_ life in which you
were not the first and foremost. I have felt this for years, and shall
never feel otherwise probably as long as I live. But for you, there
must, of necessity, come a time, when the claims of your little mother
will have to be reduced by half; when she will have to content herself
with only a duty share in your thoughts and feelings; lucky if she does
not fare worse, and be stowed away in the lumber-room of memory, like
an antiquated piece of furniture. Don't you contradict me; I know well
enough what I have to expect, and a true mother never thinks of
herself. All mothers have to bear the same, and the best way to bear
it, is with a brave face; and now, away with care! For the present, I
am yours, and you are mine; and as far as I am concerned, nothing shall
ever part us. I give you my word, and here is my hand upon it, and
now--let us go to bed, and sleep upon it."
She rose, and he mechanically did the same. When she stood at the top
of the staircase, and he a few steps lower, she just reached to the
tall stripling's forehead; she threw her arms tenderly about his neck.
"You are not to get into the habit of that ugly frown, mind that!" she
said caressingly; "frowns don't become you, and you have no reason to
frown on life like any old grumpy misanthrope--such a spoiled creature
as you may well afford to laugh,--smooth away, I pray, all these
precocious wrinkles; and now, my son, good night!" She kissed him
softly on the forehead, and passed her hand lightly over his tangling
curls. Then, taking up her candle, she glided back into her own room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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