Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
So Billy Grimm's sign was a pile of empty beer kegs racked up alongside
the front door. Sometimes in mild weather he'd have another sign--some
wayfarer that had been overtaken just as he got outside and was
sleeping it off on the sidewalk. After the first of November all the
flies in the state that didn't have anywhere else to go went to Billy's
place and wintered there. He was Montana's leading house-fly fancier.
He was getting his share of my patronage and I happened to be on the
spot when this Bollinger colt decided to stop right where he was and
stay there until he froze solid.
You know how it is when a hoss goes balky. In less than no time at all
the entire leisure class of Triple Falls were assembled, giving advice
about how to get that hoss started again. They twisted his ear and they
tried stoving in his ribs by kicking him in the side and they pushed
against his hind quarters and dragged at the bit, and through it all
that wall-eyed, Roman-nosed plug remained just as stationary as an Old
Line Republican. Alongside of him, the Rock of Gibraltar would seem
downright restless.
And then this Samson Goodhue comes bulging into the circle and takes
charge. "Stand back, everybody, please," he says, "while I show you how
to unbalk a horse. Get me a few pieces of kindling wood, somebody,"
he says, "and some paper or some straw or something." Various persons
hurry off in all directions, eager to obey. In every crowd there are
plenty of suckers who'll carry out any kind of orders if somebody who
acts executive will give them. So when they've assembled his supplies
for him he makes a little pile of 'em on the packed snow right under
the cayuse's belly and is preparing to scratch a match and telling
Whiz Bollinger to climb back on his seat and take a strong grip on the
reins, when Mrs. Oliver J. Doheny, who's among the few ladies present,
interferes with the proceedings.
Now this here Mrs. Oliver J. Doheny is at that remote period our
principal reform element. She's 'specially strong on cruelty to dumb
beasts, being heartily against it. It's only been a few weeks before
this that a trapper trails down from across the international boundary
with one of those big Canada bobcats that he's caught in a trap and
he's got it on exhibition in a cage in Hyman Frieder's Climax Clothing
Store, when Mrs. Doheny happens along and sees how the thing sort of
drags one foot where the trap pinched it and she begins tongue-lashing
the Canuck for not having bound up its wounds.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account