Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
Ditto shifted from civilian garb and served dinner that evening. It
became a meal that was more than a meal; it became a ceremonial. There
was a formalism to it, there was pomp and circumstance. The passing
of a dish was invested with a ritualistic essence. Under Ditto's
ministrations so simple a dessert as cold rice pudding took on a new
meaning. One wondered what Ditto could have done with a fancy ice. One
felt that merely with a loaf of bread and a jug of wine and none of
the other ingredients of Old Omar's recipe for a pleasant evening, he
nevertheless could have fabricated the plausible illusion of a banquet
of courses. Mrs. Gridley was thrilled to her marrows--possibly a trifle
self-conscious but thrilled.
After dinner and a visit to the service wing, Mr. Braid sought out
his sister on the veranda where she was doing what most of her
sister-villagers of parched Ingleglade were doing at that same
hour--wishing for rain.
"Well, Dumplings," he said, "you may continue to be your own serene
self. In me behold a special plenipotentiary doing plenipotenching by
the day, week, or job, satisfaction guaranteed or money refunded. I've
just had a little heart-to-heart chat with Norah and there isn't a
cloud in the sky as large as a man's hand."
"I wish there were--this terrible drought!" she said, her thoughts
divided between the two concerns uppermost in her mind. "What did you
say to her?"
"I approached the subject with my customary tact. With a significant
glance toward the visiting nobleman I reminded Norah that blood was
thicker than water, to which she piously responded by thanking God for
three thousand miles of the water. Still, I think she's going to keep
the peace. For the moment, she's impressed, or shall I say fascinated.
Ditto is high-hatting her something scandalous, and she's taking
it. For all our Norah's democratic principles she evidently carries
in her blood the taint of a lurking admiration for those having an
aristocratic bearing, and Ditto is satisfying the treasonable instinct
which until now she has had no chance to gratify--at least, not while
living with us. As for Delia, that shameless hussy is licking the spoon
and begging for more. She's a traitor to United Ireland and the memory
of Daniel O'Connell.
"Mind you, I'm not predicting that the spell will endure. The ancient
feud may blaze up. We may yet have a race war in our kitchen. For
all you know, you may at this moment be sitting pretty on a seething
volcano; but unless something unforeseen occurs I think I may safely
promise you peace and harmony, during the great event which is about to
ensue in our hitherto simple lives.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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