Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Oh!" exclaimed Mrs. Gridley in a small panic of dismay. "Oh, I'm so
sorry but I'm afraid there isn't any sherry."
"There's cooking sherry out in the kitchen, sis," said Mr. Braid, who
stood alongside her smiling happily about nothing apparently. "Tackled
it myself the other day when I was feeling daredevilish."
"But the bitters--whatever they are!"
"Give him some of that cooking sherry of yours and he'll never miss the
bitters."
"Sh-h-h," she warned, "he might hear you."
He didn't, though. At that moment Mr. Boyce-Upchurch was in conversation
with Mrs. Thwaites and her husband from two doors away. He was speaking
to them of the hors d'oeuvres which had just been passed, following the
cocktails. The Thwaites were fellow countrymen of his; their accent had
betrayed them. Perhaps he felt since they spoke his language that he
could be perfectly frank with them. Frankness appeared to be one of his
outstanding virtues.
It now developed that the relish attracted him and at the same time
repelled. Undeniably, Norah's fancy ran to the concoction of dishes,
notably, appetizers and salads, which one read about in certain
standard women's magazines. Her initial offering this night had novelty
about it, with a touch of mystery. Its general aspect suggested that
Norah had drowned a number of inoffensive anchovies in thick mayonnaise
and then, repenting of the crime, had vainly endeavored to resuscitate
her victims with grated cheese.
"Messy-looking, eh?" Mr. Boyce-Upchurch was pointing an accusing
finger at the coiled remains on a bit of toast which Mrs. Thwaites had
accepted, and he was speaking in a fairly clear voice audible to any
who might be near at hand. "Glad I didn't take one. Curious fancy, eh
what, having the savory before dinner instead of afterwards--that is,
if the ghastly thing is meant to be a savory?"
Major Thwaites mumbled briefly in a military way. It might have been
an affirmative mumble or almost any other variety of mumble; you could
take your choice. Mrs. Thwaites, biting at her lower lip, went over
and peered out of a front window. She had an unusually high color, due
perhaps to the heat.
That, substantially, was all that happened in the preliminary stages of
the dinner party. There was one more trifling incident which perhaps is
worthy to be recorded but this did not occur until the second course
was brought on. The second course was terrapin. Mrs. Gridley was a
Marylander and she had been at pains to order real diamond-backs from
down on the Eastern Shore and personally to make the stew according to
an old recipe in her family. Besides, the middle of July was not the
regular season for terrapin and it had required some generalship to
insure prime specimens, and so naturally Mrs. Gridley was proud when
the terrapin came on, with the last of her hoarded and now vanishing
store of Madeira accompanying it in tiny glasses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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