"Decayed," amended her husband. "Blighting perisher!" he added, becoming, for him, positively oratorical. "It's you Americans I'm ashamed of," continued this small, outspoken lady. "Do you think we'd let an American, no matter how talented he might be, come over to England to snub us in our own homes and patronize us and preach to us on our shortcomings and make unfair comparisons between his institutions and ours and find fault with our fashion of doing things? We'd jolly well soon put him in his place. But you Americans let him and others like him do it. You bow down and worship before them. You hang on their words. You flock to hear them. You pay them money, lots of it. You stuff them up with food, and they stuff you with insults. This one, now--he's a sponge. He's notorious for his sponging." "Pardon, please," interjected Mr. Braid. "There you touch my Yankee pride. Sponging is an aquatic pastime not confined to one hemisphere. You perhaps may claim the present international champion but we have our candidates. Gum we may chew, horn-rimmed cheaters we may wear, but despite our many racial defects we, too, have our great spongers. Remember that and have a care lest you boast too soon." "You won't let me be serious, you do spoof so," said Mrs. Thwaites. "Still, I shall say it again, it's you Americans that I'm ashamed of. But I was proud of you tonight, young man. When you mispronounced the name of Maudlin College by calling it 'Magdeline,' the Yankee way, and he corrected you, and when immediately after that when you mentioned Sinjin Ervine as 'St. John' Ervine and he corrected you again, I knew you must be setting a trap. I held my breath. And then when you asked him about his travels and what he thought of your scenic wonders and he praised some of them, and you brought in Buffalo and he said he had been there and he recalled his trip to Niagara Falls and you said: 'Not Niagara Falls, dear fellow--_Niffls!_' why that was absolutely priceless scoring. Wasn't it absolutely priceless, Rolf?" "Rarther!" agreed the Major. He seemed to feel that the tribute demanded elaboration, so he thought briefly and then expanded it into "Oh, rarther!" "We do our feeble best," murmured young Mr. Braid modestly, "and sometimes Heaven rewards us. Heaven was indeed kind tonight.... Speaking of heavenly matters--look!" As though acting on cue the horizon to the west had split asunder, and the red lightning ran down the skies in zig-zag streaks, like cracks in a hot stove, and lusty big drops spattered on the porch roof above them. "It's beginning to shower--and thank you once more for 'Niffls.'" Mrs. Thwaites threw the farewell over her shoulder. "We shall have to run for it, Rolf." * * * * *