Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
And wife-desertion was no felony; he had looked that point up. Even if
Mrs. Chaney were inclined to be spiteful, they couldn't stick you away
for sliding out and leaving a woman. Thank heaven, a husband had a few
rights left in this country. Chaney even abandoned a notion he had of
denying that he was Chaney and fighting it out on that line. What would
be the good? He settled on the hillocky mattress to hear what this
hick-looking bull might have further to say about it all.
"I guess maybe you're wondering in your own mind how I come to get into
the case to begin with," the latter had said a minute or two earlier.
"Well, you might as well know it--I've been on the payroll of the
Equity and Warranty Company from back when this thing first broke. Yes,
sir, from the start back up there in Montana. It was them sent me out
with orders to keep on goin' till I'd turned you up. When you monkey
with those folks you're monkeyin' with a buzzsaw. They don't ever quit,
not that outfit don't. That's why they paid up when your wife pushed
her claim--to throw you off the track, case you heard about it. They'd
rather see you nailed than have the money back. That's them!"
He lighted a cheap cigar and then as an afterthought offered Chaney its
mate. But Chaney didn't want to smoke just then. All Chaney wanted to
do was just to listen.
"Come to think about it, though, I guess the thing you're wonderin'
about the most is how us insurance people come to figger out that you
wasn't dead but 'live and kickin'," continued the smoker. "I know good
and well that if I was in your fix that's what I would be interested in
the most. That's right, ain't it?"
Chaney raised his head from the pillow and nodded, and was, as the
saying is, all ears.
"Well, sir, I got to take the compliments for that part of it all by
myself. You might not believe it, but if it hadn't been for me they or
nobody else would probably never have suspicioned anything out of the
way about you bein' squashed out nice and flat under that landslide.
The way it come up was this way: I live at Kalispel, out in the
Flathead valley, you know. I'm the resident agent there for the Equity
and Warranty Company and on the side I'm a deputy sheriff for Flathead
County, or the other way around, whichever way you want to put it. And
it so happened I was the second human bein' to get into that Scalded
Creek basin after the quake last year. But this boy Hurley's brother
was the first.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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