Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Sometimes I'd think I was right close up behind you and then again
there'd be times when I'd lose the scent altogether and have to scout
round on the loose till I crossed it again. There's been gaps and
breaks to your movements where I just had to take a chance and bridge
over the jump and bulge ahead. Why, I'd lose sign of you and your
probable whereabouts for weeks and months hand-runnin'. But I didn't
quit you, not for a single minute, never, at no time."
Having achieved the somewhat difficult feat of incorporating four
separate negatives into one positive sentence, the pleased man-hunter
contemplated his legs outstretched before him with a gloating,
reminiscent smile.
"Well, that's about all of the yarn," he added after a short pause.
"No, it ain't quite all, neither. There was the way I first came to
come to get you spotted definite. Startin' off, I says to myself:
'He wouldn't go east or south; if he did, he'd run into one of the
Park hotels or a bunch of dude tourists on one of the main trails. He
couldn't come back out at the west side because that's where people who
saw him when he went into the mountains would be sure to meet him and
remember him. So, if he's got any gumption at all, he's went north.'
That's what I says, dopin' things out.
"So I goes north my own self. About all I had to go on for a spell
was a photograph of you that the home-office people dug up--that and
a pretty complete schedule of your ways and your habits. I banked on
them more'n I did on the picture--a fellow can change the way he looks,
but he ain't so apt to change the way he does. As it turned out, I was
right. Because when I'd worked along as far as Vancouver and made a
canvass of all the dentists in the telephone directory, and run across
one dentist over on a back street that had only just lately finished
makin' an extra upper plate for a feller answering to your general
plans and specification--a feller, by gee, that already had a perfectly
good plate in his top jaw--why, then I knowed I was on the right track.
"When you come right down to it, old-timer, that was what finally fixed
your clock for you. Say, you certainly are a great hand, ain't you, for
havin' two of everything? Yes, sir, you bet, two of everything!"
Seeming to like the phrase, he repeated it again and once again. All
at once then it flashed to Chaney's brain that in the drawled and
deliberate repetition was a special emphasis, the hint and the menace
of a special meaning. What was this guy driving at, anyhow? What
revelation as yet unmentioned was impending? Then, with the next words
from his captor it came--the realization.
"I gotta hand it to you there, yes, sir. Two of everything for you,
includin' aliases--_and wives_. Whoa! Stiddy, boy! Stand hitched!"
For the bigamist, with a vision of state's prison before his eyes, had
jerked so hard in his scrambling leap that he almost dislocated his
shackled wrist and did rack the frail bed down.
WE OF THE OLD SOUTH
[Decoration]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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