Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
Griffin was another who did not hear the third repetition of Dorgan's
judgment. He had gone on ahead like a man anxious to quit a noisome
sick-room and to one of the assistant cashiers in the outer office he
was saying: "I advise you to get your chief to go home and lie down
awhile. It might also be a good idea to call up his family doctor
and get him to drop over here right away. From the looks of him, Mr.
Bracken's not a well man. He's had a shock--a profound shock. His
nerves might give way, I'd say, any minute. I'm afraid he's in for a
very, very hard time!"
PEACE ON EARTH
[Decoration]
This Christmas was going to be different. So far as Mr. and Mrs.
Bugbee were concerned the Christmas before had been a total failure,
disillusioning, disappointing, fraught with heart-burnings. But this
coming one--well, just let everybody wait and see. They'd show them.
"It's going to be so dog-goned different you'd be surprised!" said Mr.
Bugbee. He said it after the plan had taken on shape and substance and,
so saying, raised a hand in the manner of a man who plights a solemn
troth.
But first the plan had to be born. It was born on a day in October
when Mr. Bugbee came into the living-room of their light-housekeeping
apartment on West Ninth Street just around the corner from Washington
Square. The living-room was done in Early Byzantine or something--a
connoisseur would know, probably--and Mrs. Bugbee was dressed to
match the furnishings. She was pretty, though. Her friends said she
reminded them of a Pre-Raphaelite Madonna, which either was or was not
a compliment dependent on what privately the speaker thought about
the Pre-Raphaelite school. Still, most of her friends liked it, being
themselves expertly artistic. She had the tea things out--the hammered
Russian set. This was her customary afternoon for receiving and
presently there would be people dropping in. She lifted her nose and
sniffed.
"Whew!" she exclaimed. "Where have you been? You smell like a rancid
peppermint lozenge."
"Been down in the storeroom in the basement getting out my winter
suits," he said. "Messy job. I broke up a party."
"Whose?" she asked.
"Mr. and Mrs. Moth were celebrating their woolen wedding," he
explained. "They furnished the guests and I did the catering. You ought
to see that heavy sweater of mine. It's not heavy any more. I'm going
to write a chapter to be added to that sterling work 'Advice to an
Expectant Moth-er.'"
"Oh dear!" she said. "That's the trouble with living in one of these
old converted houses."
"This one has backslid," he interjected. "Insectivorous, I call it.
There were enough roaches down there to last a reasonable frugal
roach-collector for at least five years. Any entomologist could have
enjoyed himself for a week just classifying species."
"And I fairly saturated your clothes with that spraying stuff before I
packed them away," she lamented. "And as for camphor balls--well, if I
used up one camphor ball I used ten pounds."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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