Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"You must have been a poor marksman. So far as I can judge you never
hit a single one of 'em. And so all summer, while we flitted from place
to place, gay butterflies of fashion that we are, they've been down
there intent on family duties, multiplying and replenishing my flannel
underwear, as the Scriptures so aptly put it. Devoted little creatures,
moths! They have their faults but they have their domestic virtues,
too. I wish they didn't have so much of my golf sweater. It looked like
drawn-work."
"What did you do with it?"
"Gave it back to them. All or none--that's my motto. But I piled the
rest of the duds on my bed. By prompt relief work much of it may be
salvaged."
"Then for heaven's sake close the door before I choke."
He closed the door and came and sat down near her and lighted a
cigarette. He wore the conventional flowing Windsor tie to prove how
unconventional he was. But he did not wear the velveteen jacket; he
drew the line there, having a sense of humor. Nor were his trousers
baggy and unpressed. They were unbagged and impressive. Mr. Bugbee
was a writer, also a painter. He was always getting ready to write
something important and then at the last minute deciding to paint
instead, or the other way around. What between being so clever at the
two crafts he rarely prosecuted either.
But then as regards finances this pair did not have to worry. There
was money on both sides, which among our native bohemians is a rare
coincidence. He had inherited some and Mrs. Bugbee had inherited a good
deal. So they could gratify a taste for period furniture and practice
their small philanthropies and generally make a pleasant thing of
living this life without the necessity of stinting.
It was agreed that they had such happy names--names to match their
natures. His was Clement and hers was Felicia. It was as if, infants at
the baptismal font though they were, they had been christened and at
the same time destined for each other. Persons who knew them remarked
this. Persons also made a play on their last name. While these twain
were buzzing about enjoying themselves, their intimates often called
them the Busy Bugbees. But when an idealistic impulse swept them off
their feet, as occasionally it did, the first syllable was the one
that was accented. It was really a trick name and provided some small
entertainment for light-hearted members of the favored circle in which
the couple mainly moved. It doesn't take much to amuse some people.
"Just to think!" mused Mrs. Bugbee. "It seems only a week or two
ago since we were wondering where we'd go to spend the summer. Time
certainly does fly."
"And what a small world it is," amended Mr. Bugbee. "Why, we were
sitting right here in this room when that subject first came up and,
lo and behold, only five short months afterward we meet again on the
very same spot. Where do they get that stuff about a fellow so rarely
running into an old friend in New York?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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