Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"I believe that practically was about all she said," wound up Mrs.
Bugbee. "Where's my fur coat and muffler? I've got to hurry down to the
Masonic Hall. I called a rehearsal for three o'clock and I'll probably
be late as it is." Mrs. Bugbee lost her worried look. "I'm certain of
one thing: I'm not going to be disappointed in my Christmas carols.
Not that they have such good voices. But such enthusiasm as all eight
of them show! And how they're looking forward to midnight of Christmas
Eve! And how willing they are to practice!"
As the festival drew nearer, unforeseen complications ensued. Inspired
by an affection which the holiday spirit had quickened, various
persons back in New York chose to disregard the advertised views of
the Bugbees touching on the overworked custom of exchanging gifts.
Their hiding-place was known too, as now developed. By express and
by parcel-post came packages done up in gay wrappings and bearing
cards and sprigs of holly and inevitably containing the conventional
remembrances, the customary loving messages. The opening of each box
served to enhance an atmosphere of homesickness which was beginning to
fill the Rousseau bungalow.
"Well, I've done the best I could," wailed Mrs. Bugbee despairingly.
"Of course we have to make some return for all this." She indicated
a litter of brilliant paper and parti-colored ribbon bindings on the
floor about her.
"Why do we?" he countered, he having just returned from the settlement.
"Those darned fools knew how we felt about this business."
"Because we just do, that's why! They'd never forgive us. So while you
were gone I wrote out a telegram to Aunt Bessie and telephoned it down
to the junction. I gave Aunt Bessie the names of everybody who'd sent
us something and told her what stores we have charge accounts at and
begged her as a tremendous favor to get each one of them something, no
matter what, and send it around to them. It wouldn't have done any good
to wire the stores direct--they're too rushed to pay any attention. And
poor Aunt Bessie will be up to her ears in her own Christmas shopping
and of course it's a dreadful imposition on her and of course she won't
have time to pick out suitable presents or anything. But what could I
do?"
"I'll tell you what you could have done," said Mr. Bugbee, fixing an
accusing eye upon his wife. "You could have dissuaded me from this mad
folly, this wild impulse to flee to the wildwood for Christmas. Back
there in October had you but done this our associates might even now
be saying: 'Poor Bugbee had a brain-storm but what did Bugbee's little
woman do? She saved him from himself, that's what Bugbee's little woman
did!' But no, woman-like, you fed the flames of my delusion. And now
it's too late to turn back. Madam, you have but yourself to blame, I
refuse to offer you my pity. Anyhow, I need it all for personal use."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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