Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Oh, yes! Well, she told me that quite a good many of the members of
one of the congregations here rather resent the fact that the pastor of
the other congregation is the chairman of my committee that's getting
up the Christmas entertainment. And they aren't going to cooperate or
let their children come either. There are two cliques, it seems, and
they're both awfully cliquey."
"A common fault of cliques, I believe. And what else?"
"And she says some of the young people think our celebration is going
to be too tame for them. So they're planning to import special music
from over at the junction and throw a jazz party, as they put it, on
the same night. It seems there's a barber over at the junction who
plays the saxophone and he has an orchestra of four pieces; that's the
one they're going to hire."
"Every junction has a barber who plays the saxophone. But formerly
the favored instrument was the guitar, though in exceptional cases
the harmonica or mouth-organ might be preferred. Proceed, please; you
interest me deeply."
"And she says that there's a good deal of curiosity--_curiosity_ was
the word she used--about our private lives. There actually seems to be
a suspicion that we're some sort of refugees or fugitives or something,
and that we're trying to ingratiate ourselves with the residents here
in order to work some scheme on them later. At least she hinted that
much. But this Miss Teasdale doesn't share in this sentiment at all.
She said so several times. She said she only came up as a friend to
let me know what was going on. She hasn't any ax to grind herself, she
says. She doesn't believe in all this envy and jealousy, she says."
"I don't believe the ax is her favorite weapon. I seem to picture her
in the privacy of the home circle brewing a great jorum of poison-ivy
tea. Perchance she revealed more?"
"Quite a lot more. She says we're being imposed on shamefully in regard
to the prices we're paying for things. She says we picked the wrong
people to deal with and that if we'd just come to her first she could
have saved us money. She says that Anna is charging us about three
times what she'd expect from a neighbor for the same services. Still, I
gather that there's a sort of feud between her and Anna, so she may be
biased. And she says that this man Talbot--"
"All of which reminds me. I had to order more firewood this morning.
Due, I take it, to post-war conditions in Europe the price is now
twelve dollars a cord. The egg market also shows an advance, influenced
no doubt by disquieting advices from Morocco. Well, if we will meddle
in world affairs we must pay the price."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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