Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
They had quite a little dispute over it. She voted first for a pair of
military hair-brushes, the Herbert Ryders, of East Sixty-ninth Street,
having sent Mr. Bugbee a pair and he being already the possessor of two
other pairs. But as Mr. Bugbee pointed out, an offering even remotely
suggestive of the military life possibly might recall unpleasant
memories in the mind of one who had suffered in the Great War. So then
she suggested that a box containing one-half dozen cakes of imported
and scented violet soap might be acceptable; there was such a box among
the gifts accumulating about the room. But, as Mr. Bugbee said, suppose
he was sensitive? Suppose he took it as a personal reflection? They
argued back and forth. Eventually Mr. Bugbee found an answer to the
problem.
"I'm going to hand him my last full quart of old Scotch," he announced
with a gesture of broad generosity. "He'll appreciate that, or I miss
my guess."
He had the comforting feeling of having made a self-sacrifice for the
sake of a stranger. He had the redeemed feeling of one who means to
go the absolute limit on behalf of his fellow man. For Mr. Bugbee had
brought with him but three bottles of his treasured pre-Prohibition
Scotch. And the first bottle was emptied and the second had been
broached and half emptied and only the third precious survivor remained
intact.
It was a lovely yet a poignant feeling to have.
On the night before Christmas it was raining. By morning probably
the underfooting would be all one nice icy slickery glare but now
everything was melting and running. As the Bugbees, man and wife,
slopped along up the gentle slope leading from the highway to their
front door they were exchanging remarks which had been uttered several
times already on the homeward journey but each, with variations, was
still repeating his, or as the case was, her contributions to the
dialogue, just as persons will do when a subject for conversation
happens to be one that lies close to the speakers' heart.
"The little ones," she was saying, "they almost repaid me for all the
trouble we've been to and all the pains we've taken. Their glee was
genuine. Sometimes, Clem, I think there ought to be a law against
anybody celebrating Christmas who's more than twelve years old--I mean
celebrating it with gifts."
"Second the motion!" His tone was grim. One might even say it was
bitter.
"But some of these older ones--turning up their noses right before our
eyes at the little presents that we'd bought for them. What did they
expect--diamond bracelets? Do they think we're made out of money?"
"Well, I'm not, for one. I settled Brother Talbot's account for the
past two weeks this afternoon. That man's talents are wasted here. He
ought to be operating a fleet of pirate ships."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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